Grief is a natural response to loss, but people grieve in their own way. There is no right or wrong way, nor is there any set timetable for the grieving process. There are, however, five general stages of grief that psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described in 1969, based on her studies of patients facing terminal illness. Everyone doesn't necessarily go through these steps, and they're probably not experienced in a separate, sequential order. What's important to know is that these steps--these feelings--are normal.
Denial
Because loss often happens quickly--for instance, an accident or unexpected death--it's only natural that your first reaction is often denial. The event is simply too overwhelming or tragic to grasp and accept. Even when the loss is expected, such as a loved one dying of a terminal illness, denial, at least in the beginning, remains a common reaction.
Anger
During grieving, expect to ride a roller coaster of conflicting emotions. It's normal to feel sorrow, loneliness, anxiety, guilt and even anger, including anger at the person who died. Denying these feelings can delay the healing that needs to take place, warns the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation.
Bargaining
At some stage in the grief process, you might turn to bargaining, asking a higher power to intervene and promising something in return. For instance: "If you let my husband live, I'll be a better, more patient wife." The loss doesn't need to be life threatening to trigger a bargaining response. Any loss can cause grief, including a relationship breakup, job termination or a fractured friendship.
Depression
As reality settles in, depression can follow. Depression is accompanied by an array of feelings and behaviors, according to the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are typical. You also might find that none of life's usual pleasures bring you joy. It can be difficult to concentrate or make decisions. Negative thoughts are also characteristic of depression.
Acceptance
You can't hurry or force the healing process. Grieving takes time. But if you're successfully working through the process, eventually you can accept the loss. This doesn't mean you'll never feel badly again. Holiday events, anniversaries, the birth of a child or other significant events can trigger feelings of grief. But acceptance does mean you can function and move on with your life.
