The loss of a loved one, whether sudden or from a lingering illness, leads to feelings of grief. Specialists in dealing with grief commonly refer to its five stages: shock, denial, anger, blaming and acceptance. A series of physical, emotional and cognitive symptoms threads through these stages. Grief usually begins to resolve after several months, but if you feel you need help with your symptoms, many therapists work exclusively in this area.
Physical Symptoms
When most people think of grief, they think of its physical symptoms---crying, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, loss of appetite. But grief can also manifest in other physical ways, such as nausea and vomiting, headache, shortness of breath, a tightness in the chest, and even aches and pains in the muscles and joints. Over time, grief may lead to a change in body weight, either a decrease as the result of diminished appetite or a gain because of uncontrolled eating in response to loss.
Emotional Symptoms
Emotional symptoms of grief include sadness, anger and guilt. The grieving person may act in ways that appear unseemly, such as laughing during her loved one's funeral or smiling at inappropriate times. She may feel anxious or irritable. Often in cases where the loved one died after a long illness, the grieving person may feel relief. While this is a natural response to a painful period coming to an end, it nevertheless may lead to increased feelings of guilt.
Cognitive Symptoms
The grieving person may have trouble concentrating or staying focused on a task. He may briefly forget his loved one has died. Hallucinations and dreams of the loved one are not uncommon. Often there is a need to speak about the loved one and the circumstances of her death, and a grieving person may talk at length on this subject. Conversely, he may feel that he will make others uncomfortable if he speaks about his loss, leading to a lack of communication. The grieving person may think about suicide in an abstract way. This is generally not a cause for concern, as long as he is not actively making plans or taking specific steps in that direction.
Complicated Grief
While symptoms of grief tend to ease after several months, some people suffer from complicated grief. Complicated grief begins as normal grieving for a loss and displays many of the same symptoms as regular grief. In instances of complicated grief, however, the symptoms do not abate. Instead, a person suffering from complicated grief lives in a state of chronic sadness, often thinking obsessively about the lost loved one, feeling purposeless and in some cases believing she would be better off had she died too. Suicide is a possibility in cases of complicated grief. If you believe you are suffering from complicated grief, or know someone who is, talk to a therapist. Treatment strategies are available.
