In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief, according to the health website HelpGuide.org. Her studies were based on patients who were facing terminal illness. Since this original definition, the five stages of grief have been used to describe the emotional stages people may go through after a major loss or change. Not all stages must be experienced with grief, and the duration of each stage varies from person to person.
Denial and Isolation
In this stage, you may be feeling overwhelmed with your major loss or change and will begin to deny the event. Grieving people often have thoughts of denial that the even couldn't possibly be happening to them, according to health website HelpGuide.org. Dr. Kübler-Ross writes that denial helps people to slowly face feelings of grief, letting in only as much as people can handle at a time.
Anger
This stage of grief may manifest itself through anger towards the person inflicting the pain, loss or change or it may show up as anger towards the world, a god, or yourself for allowing the event or painful situation to take place. Anger allows a grieving person to gain strength, says Dr. Kübler-Ross, allowing them to take action during a difficult time.
Bargaining
At this stage, you may feel like making deals with whatever elements have the power to take the pain away or reverse the loss. Saying things like, "I would do anything to bring her back" or statements that begin "I will never..." or "If only..." are common. This stage may last only minutes or seconds in duration, as grieving people go between and through various stages.
Depression
Depression will be felt after a major loss or change. You may feel numb, feel sadness and deep mourning. You may feel too sad to partake in normal, everyday activities that you once loved. This depression is a common response to grief and is not a symptom of a mental illness. Depression is a normal and necessary step to take in order to be healed of grief.
Acceptance
Finally, grieving people will feel an ultimate acceptance. At this stage, anger, sadness and any other past emotions will diminish, leaving behind a clarity of thought and the beginning of healing. This stage does not mean that you will feel good about the loss, but able to deal fully with the reality that a loved one is permanently gone or a situation is permanently altered.
