The Best Ways To Improve Communication With Family

Proper communication with your family can make it easier for you to decipher and meet the needs of your children and spouse. Without the right tools for communication, your family can remain disconnected and out-of-sync with each other. Instead of worrying about who has the next soccer practice and what to make for dinner, focus on taking the time to talk with your family members and spend time understanding their wants and needs so you can take charge of your family's success and happiness.

Set a Time

In his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families," Stephen Covey talks about the importance of scheduling time weekly to talk with your family and hold a family council. Sometimes life becomes busy and you find yourself living a parallel life to the rest of your family, instead of making sure your lives intersect. Think about scheduling a regular family night each week that is unbreakable; there, you can open the floor and allow your family to discuss anything they feel the need to discuss.

Listen to Understand

Listening to your family members as they talk isn't a passive action. Become invested in your listening skills and try and decipher the meaning behind your family's concerns through communication. If your child tells you that he wants his own room or is having trouble getting along with his siblings, seek to understand the underlying message says the Ohio State University Extension service. Ask him questions and draw him out for a deeper understanding.

Take Responsibility

Take responsibility in your own role in the family's conflicts and problems. It can sometimes be easy to take a observer's role when you family begins to argue. If you notice that they are communicating about something you had a part in, be the first to acknowledge your part and apologize. It sets precedence for responsibility and action in the rest of your family, rather than pointing fingers and arguing. It also proves that apologizing is not a sign of submission, but a sign of maturity.

Choose Your Words

The right words can help open doors, while the wrong ones will cause slammed doors, says FamilyEducation.com. Know which words to use to draw your family out, like asking what is the matter, what do they think, expressing interest and acknowledging their questions. The wrong words---such as questioning their actions, using short words like "no" without explanation or discounting their feelings---can sound like accusations or make it seem as if you don't care about their feelings.