Most people consider pets part of the family, and mourn an animal's death as much as a human's. Sometimes outsiders don't understand this. It's hard enough to cope with the death of your "child" without people asking when you're getting another one, or coworkers resenting that you needed a day off. Pet bereavement counseling programs can help you deal with your pain, and others' insensitivity, as you struggle through the five stages of grief.
Denial
Denial is most commonly the first stage of grief, a defense mechanism to protect you from the hard truth. Sometimes it crops up when your pet is first in trouble---you think, "The cancer will go away," or "The injuries don't look that bad." The American Veterinary Medical Association says that the more sudden the animal's death, the stronger the denial, as the reality of the situation hasn't had time to set in.
Bargaining
As you begin to face the impending loss of your beloved pet, you may turn to bargaining to try to change the fates. Sometimes it is religious bargaining, promising God that if your pet lives you will be a good person or start going to church---offering to give up "bad" behavior, if your pet will be OK. Other times, you bargain with your pet, promising to let him drink out of the toilet or share your ice cream with him, if only he will get better.
Anger and Guilt
Anger can manifest itself in many ways. You may be mad at the veterinarian who couldn't save your pet, or at your spouse who didn't make sure the door was closed, or at God for making it happen. Commonly, mourners turn the anger in on themselves, making it guilt. They blame themselves for not seeing the signs of the illness earlier, ask why didn't they check the clasp on the leash, regret that they didn't pay that extra $1,000 for the experimental treatment.
Depression
A significant loss will make anyone depressed. In this stage of grief, you can see no end to the sadness. You might want to hole up in your home away from other people, and avoid activities that you used to do with your pet. Every reminder of your loss can serve to bring a new wave of depression over you. This stage is normal, but if it persists for a very long time, or if it is followed by thoughts of suicide, seek counseling. Many mental health professionals specialize in dealing with grief, and there are even programs set up for those suffering the loss of a pet.
Acceptance
This is the final stage of grief. At this point you have come to grips with the fact that your pet is gone, and the sharp and painful sadness has eased up. While you will always miss your pet, now you can look back with fondness at the memories you have. You will probably experience anger, guilt and/or sorrow, but they should come less frequently and for shorter periods of time.
