Anger may be directed at a person, object or institution. Anger can move you past the behavioral restraints of your personality to take action to redress an offense. However, if you find yourself getting angry too often, at inappropriate times and to excessive degrees, certain techniques designed to help you regain control may be of use.
Write a Letter
When you are feeling angry toward another individual, write him a letter expressing your grievances. Many times, anger comes about as the result of unabated frustration. By putting down, on paper, the entire nature of your discontent, you relieve the pent-up energy of your anger and allow your mind to reach a state of clarity. Many times, the act of unleashing your frustrations, even on paper, will dispel the emotion, enabling you to let go of resentment and move forward.
Take Responsibility
Remember, anger arises when you believe that you have been wronged by another. Your concerns could, indeed, have validity. Anger becomes excessive, however, when you allow resentment to smolder while waiting for the accused party to restore your self-esteem. This places your personal power in the hands of another who will, most likely, not act in the manner you'd like to see. While other people may behave, at times, in ways that you deem inappropriate, you are always responsible for choosing how to feel. A good way to get your anger under control is to become "solution oriented." This means turning your focus toward what you can actually do about a situation, as opposed to what you believe others "should-have" done. You almost always have a certain degree of choice. Dr. Tony Fiore, professional anger coach, suggests that you "Try alternative behaviors when you get those angry feelings by asking yourself, 'What are some other ways I can deal with this situation?' " There are numerous ways to exercise your right to respond. You can elect to think differently about the situation, learn to condemn actions and not people or remove yourself entirely from a chronically hostile environment. You begin to take control of your anger the moment you accept responsibility for the circumstances of your life.
Deep Breathing
Deep breathing has been used in various healing practices as a way to relieve tension from the mind and body. Assume a horizontal position on the ground, facing upward. Place one hand on top of your belly, in order to track your breathing during the exercise. Inhale, deeply and slowly, drawing in air from your abdomen. When your lungs become full, pause for two or three seconds before breathing out in the same manner. When you have driven out as much air as possible from your lungs, again pause before breathing in. Keep the movement of your chest to a minimum during the process. Breathe, in this way, for up to 10 minutes whenever feelings of anger begin to emerge.
