Abusive relationships can have a devastating effect on victims and their families. Abusive relationships can involve mental or emotional abuse alone, or a combination of emotional abuse and physical violence. Domestic violence is a problem affecting individuals in every type of culture, religious group and socioeconomic status. By understanding domestic violence and mental abuse, victims have a better chance of escaping their abusers and taking steps towards recovery.
Common Misconceptions
Domestic abuse, whether physical or emotional, is surrounded by common misconceptions. According to DomesticViolence.org, one common misconception is that victims of abuse would simply leave if the abuse was really that bad, or that they must want to be abused. According to a 1995 study conducted by the U.S. Dept. of Justice, abuse victims are in the most danger when they attempt to leave. Victims of domestic violence may stay with abusers out of fear for their own safety. Victims with children may be afraid to endanger the kids by trying to leave.
Seriousness of Mental Abuse
Mental or emotional abuse can be just as serious and debilitating as acts of physical violence. Some forms of mental abuse can include terrorizing the victim with threats of violence towards the victim, their children, family members or even pets. Abusers may also force the victim to perform degrading or humiliating acts. Because domestic abuse is about controlling the victim, other kinds of abuse may involve controlling finances to make the victim financially dependent on the abuser, and discouraging or threatening the victim if the person attempts to find a job or take a class. Mental abuse may also involve belittling friends and family members in an attempt to persuade the victim to break contact with potential supporters, says the American Psychiatric Association.
Warning Signs
Many warning signs that could indicate you may be involved in a potentially abusive relationship. Some of these signs could include your partner insisting on knowing where you are at all times, displaying extreme sensitivity and anger to perceived slights, and attempts to convince you that your friends and family members don't care about you or are against you. The American Psychiatric Association suggests asking yourself whether you are ever physically afraid of your partner, or even if you find yourself altering your behavior out of fear of his unpredictable, angry outbursts.
Protecting Yourself
Because attempts to leave an abusive partner can lead to a sudden, and potentially fatal escalation of violence, it is essential that victims develop a plan for leaving an abuser. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists suggests a plan for safe places to go when you leave, such as family member or friend's house, or even a battered women's shelter in your area. Hiding a suitcase with clean clothes, medications and essentials for yourself and your children can help if you need to leave suddenly. In addtion, taking important identification papers can help prevent the risk of going back for those items later, says DomesticViolence.org.
Aftermath
Domestic violence and mental abuse can have a serious long-term effect on victims. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, some emotional problems common to trauma survivors include feelings of hopelessness, distrust, self-blame and fear. Abuse victims may have trouble concentrating or interacting with people, and may also engage in excessive smoking, drinking or drug use. Common physical side effects to trauma can include agitation and an exaggerated startle response, disturbing flashbacks and problems eating and sleeping. Seeking help from friends, medical professionals and abuse support groups can help victims begin the process of recovery.
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