Children can become confused when dealing with anger; the feelings and emotions associated with anger can make them feel upset or guilty. Anger is a healthy emotion that everyone feels from time to time, and as a parent, it's important that you give your children the tools to deal with their anger in a healthy, respectful and even artistic way. Letting your child know that anger is normal and that there is a right and wrong way to handle anger can teach them the skills to deal with anger and move on.
Encourage Expression
When your child is angry, his first instinct may be to keep it inside so he does not get in trouble for expressing it. William Sears, MD, associate clinical professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine, School of Medicine, notes that "stuffing anger" can make your child lash out more forcefully when provoked. Instead, give your child ample opportunity to talk about his feelings by asking him thoughtful questions about what happened, how he feels and offering ways to diffuse the situation that is making him angry.
Relaxation Techniques
A child in a high-stress situation may be more prone to dealing with anger in unacceptable ways, like throwing a tantrum, hitting or yelling. Teaching your child a variety of relaxation techniques can give her the tools to take a moment and calm down when things are upsetting her. The National Network for Child Care recommends using your child's five senses to help her relax and feel calm when handling anger, like splashing in water, smelling something pleasant, having a snack or repeating a soothing motion like rocking or humming. When relaxed, your child can then confront the problem more rationally.
Conflict Resolution
Your child should know basic conflict resolution skills so when she confronts something that is making her angry, she can solve the problem. Explain to your child that the acceptable way to deal with anger is to confront the problem when she has calmed down. Help her to identify the issue that is causing her to feel angry, and discuss ways that it can be remedied. For instance, if she is having trouble on the playground, discuss ways to share or how to avoid contention. Arm her with the tools against anger so she can handle it even when you are not present.
Good Examples
Children ultimately learn more from watching you than they do from your words. It is important to be a good example of dealing with anger in healthy ways, according to La Leche League International. If your child observes you becoming irate while driving or speaking unkindly behind a salesperson's back, he will eventually learn that anger, unkind words and even physical gestures are an acceptable way to handle anger. Carefully monitor your words and actions to present the best picture to your child on how to deal with anger.
