Perhaps you covet a friend's possessions or professional achievement or worry about the affections of a loved one. In either case, jealousy can stem from insecurity and negatively affect your perceptions, actions and self-esteem. Devise a method to reduce jealous feelings and discover ways to use the emotion to your advantage.
Express Feelings
The Health Guidance website recommends discussing your jealousy openly with your partner if you're feeling insecure about his feelings. If it upsets you when your significant other flirts with or stares at other women, calmly express the reasons why this makes you feel jealous. He may stop his behavior or you may feel less threatened by his actions after you understand both sides of the equation. The discussion may also help you air additional issues that cause you to doubt his commitment or trustworthiness.
Fake It
Although you may be struggling with jealousy, Psychology Today recommends an exercise to reduce your negative feelings and improve your attitude and relationship. The website suggests adopting a "fake it until you make it" habit that forces you to pretend not to be jealous. The positive outlook may also improve your partner's mood, particularly if she's tired of facing your accusations each time you see each other. In turn, she may act more warmly toward you, reducing the suspicions that trigger your jealousy.
Adjust Attitude
Examine the root of your jealous feelings to determine if a new point of view will help you eliminate the envy. Perhaps a negative experience in your previous relationship is causing you to feel jealous about your significant other's purely platonic friendship with a co-worker of the opposite sex.
Once you realize that your partner has done nothing to drive your jealousy, take a tip from the Pathway to Happiness website and revise your mental picture. Don't allow yourself to imagine what your husband is doing late at work---rewrite the "story" that you're creating in your mind or divert your attention with another activity until he comes home.
Be Proactive
If you're envious of a friend's promotion or professional achievement, the Mendoza College of Business of the University of Notre Dame suggests turning the feelings into a positive force. Learn from the organizational and networking skills that she uses to receive business accolades. Divert the energy into your current project, or use the time you typically spend feeling jealous to take a business training class that will help you get ahead in your workplace or build the skills to find a job in a more appreciative environment.
Seek Help
Meet with a mental health professional if you're unable to overcome jealousy and the feelings consistently ruin your personal and professional relationships or begin to affect your sleeping, eating or personal care habits. The counselor or physician may help you uncover and treat self-esteem or trust issues that trigger your jealousy.
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