You entire life may be impacted if you suffer from feelings of low self-esteem. According to the Mayo Clinic, low self-esteem can negatively affect your career, relationships, family life and health. Negative self-esteem can develop at any time, but if you were abused as a child, your chances of having low self-esteem are much higher. If you were abused at any point in your life, you may have inadvertently developed a negative thought pattern and a pessimistic view of the world. If you change the way you think about yourself and how you view your life, you can develop a healthier, more positive sense of self-esteem.
Become Aware
Developing awareness of your negative thought patterns is a key part of developing your self-esteem. You may have held certain negative thought patterns for such a long time that you're no longer aware of them on a conscious level. Anytime something makes you feel bad about yourself, whether you have a physical reaction like stomach cramps or a racing heart, or a mental reaction such as feeling sad or tearful, try to become aware of what you are telling yourself. According to the Mayo Clinic, bringing automatically occurring negative thought patterns to your awareness and then challenging them can help you achieve higher self-esteem. Be kinder to yourself, and notice when your thoughts are critical of yourself or others. Try to focus on positive things happening in your life, no matter how small they may seem. Don't beat yourself up for shortcomings. The Mayo Clinic also points out that removing "should" or "must" statements from your thought patterns can help you to develop more realistic, healthier expectations of yourself and others.
Accomplish a Goal
In her audiobook "Self-Esteem: Your Fundamental Power," Caroline Myss points out that one way you can achieve higher self-esteem almost instantly is to accomplish something today that you've been putting off for a long time. If you have a list of things you've always wanted to change, such as starting an exercise program or eating healthier, try to take a step toward this goal before you go to sleep. If you're sedentary, take a walk around the block, even if it's just for five minutes. If you normally eat fast food or convenience food for dinner, try to prepare something healthy. Whatever it is that you've been putting off until tomorrow, try to make a start on it today.
Develop Assertiveness
If you suffer from low self-esteem, you probably also have a problem with being assertive. According to Dr. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning in their book, "Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem," the inability to ask others for what you want is a classic symptom of low self-esteem. McKay and Fanning point out that you have a right to ask others for whatever it is you think is important. Whether it's regarding emotional needs such as wanting congratulations when you do something well, or intellectual needs such as having the freedom to honestly express your thoughts, developing the ability to be assertive can help you build a healthier level of self-esteem.
References
- MayoClinic.com: Self-Esteem
- "Self-Esteem: Your Fundamental Power"; Caroline Myss; 2006
- "Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem"; Dr. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning; 2000
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