The reasons for parental separation are complex, and every case is unique. Custody and visitation arrangements can be difficult to navigate, especially when parents harbor feelings of ill will. The U.S. court system recognizes this, and strives to work with parents to create agreements that are in the best interest of any children involved.
Legal Custody
The term "legal custody" refers to the parent who makes the major decisions about how a child will be raised, including what school he goes to, what religion he practices and his medical care. Joint legal custody means that you as parents make these decisions together, regardless of how much time each of you spends with your child.
Physical Custody
Physical custody refers to where a child spends most of her time. When primary physical custody is granted to one parent, the other is said to have "visitation." Joint physical custody means that parents share time with their child equally or nearly equally. Most courts are inclined to award parents joint physical custody unless one parent can prove the other unfit.
Reasonable Visitation
According to the law, the parent without primary physical custody are entitled to "reasonable" visitation. This means visitation that is in the best interest of the child, that doesn't place undue hardship on the custodial parent and is generous toward the non-custodial parent. Because parents know best about what will work for their family, they are encouraged to work out their own visitation agreements. These can be loosely done without the involvement of the courts, or they can be written out in detail and submitted to the court for approval. An agreement signed by a judge is binding unless one or both parents successfully petition the courts to change it.
Fixed Visitation
When one or both parents are too hostile to come to an agreement, a family court judge will often create a fixed visitation schedule based on what he believes to be the best interest of the child. This arrangement is binding and enforceable by law.
Supervised Visitation
If your ex-spouse has been abusive or has a drug or criminal history, a judge will likely order supervised visitation. In supervised visitation, a court-approved third party--not the custodial parent--oversees the non-custodial parent's time with her child. The third party could be known to your child, or a court-appointed stranger.
Mediation
If you and your ex-spouse cannot agree on custody, you have the option to hire a mediator. A mediator is an unbiased third party that works with the family to help them come to a reasonable agreement that everyone can live with. Mediation is far less expensive than attorney's fees, and is the best solution for many families. Some states require mediation before they will even hear a custody case.
Grandparent's Rights
All 50 states have some form of grandparent visitation rights. Depending on the state, the situation and the individual judge hearing the case, grandparents may have to prove that a lack of contact would be detrimental to a child, or parents may have to prove that the child's grandparents are unfit caretakers.
