At times, anger gets the best of everyone. Naturally, when we're put in a frightening, frustrating or hurtful situation, we tend to react emotionally in some way, and sometimes that's with anger. Anger, itself, is not a problem, but not knowing how to deal with it sometimes creates problems. It's important to learn healthy ways to help deal with your anger, especially if you've realized it's causing problems in your life.
Anger Is Emotion
Anger is not negative despite what many of us have been taught. According to the SocyBerty website, "Anger is a healthy emotion, an emotion that every person feels." In fact, feeling emotions of any kind is never wrong, but emotions like anger tend to get misdirected or misplaced at times, especially if a person is prone to anger, says psychologist Jerry Deffenbacher, Ph.D., for the American Psychological Association, APA, website.
It's normal to feel aggressive when angry, further explains the APA site, but anger does not have to lead to aggression or violence. When we feel angry, it's usually because we feel threatened in some way, and just like a frightened or hurt animal, we automatically go into flight-or-fight mode, according to the APA. Unwittingly handed down to us by our primitive ancestors, anger is a powerful emotion, and we instinctively want to run or fight when we feel backed into a corner. It is possible, though, to learn healthy ways to deal with and help anger.
Anger Is Energy
What happens in our bodies and minds when we feel angry? First of all, physiological as well as biological responses take off: blood pressure rises, heart rate increases, energy hormone levels, adrenaline and non-adrenaline, soar upward, according to the APA. Secondly, minds become confused and thoughts get distorted or often blown out of proportion.
However, according to Pick the Brain, people can think and feel at the same time, contrary to popular belief, and with practice the heart and brain can function together. Until we learn ways to deal with the force of energy called anger, though, we might end up doing and saying things we wish we hadn't.
Anger Is a Tool
Instead of hating your own anger, or feeling embarrassed by it, think of anger as a bright ball of energy you've been blessed with to use for changing your life and others' lives for the best. When you feel angry, stop for a minute if you can and try to understand its source. Try not to just react; try instead to stop and think things through, suggests the APA. Usually your anger is telling you something is wrong, and that whatever it is that's making you so angry needs to be changed somehow.
Not only take an honest look at what's making you so angry, but also realistically examine your feelings. Are you angry with someone or something else, or are you angry with yourself? "Anger can be caused by both external and internal events," notes the APA. Ask yourself other important questions: "Am I angry-afraid, angry-sad or angry-angry?" suggests Pick the Brain. Ascertain the true cause of your anger. Next, try to honestly understand what your anger is telling you about needed changes in your life.
Ways To Help Anger
The APA recommends taking time out when first angered, especially when trying to learn to communicate better with loved ones. The time alone might give you a chance to cool off long enough to discuss things logically. Stop and think before reacting, suggests the APA.
If problems continue or become serious enough with others around you or within yourself, seek advice or counseling from trusted friends, mentors, a health care provider or a clergy member.
Practice other methods that help anger, such as relaxation exercises and breathing techniques as well as humor as a way to get a better perspective on situations, adds the APA.
