Positive thinking can be simple optimism about the future. You can go through periods of feeling happier with your situation or more upset, although your actual conditions may remain unchanged. Noting the tone of your emotion can help break a cycle of negative self-talk. However, when the pressure to think positively becomes overbearing, it can become a source of stress.
Positive Thinking in American Culture
Dr. Norman Vincent Peale unleashed a new sensation with his book "The Power of Positive Thinking" in 1952. He is known for the saying, "When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade." This tale of willfully overcoming difficult odds has become a favorite storyline in tales like Johnny Appleseed and in TV shows like "Oprah." Positive thinking plays a role in achieving success, but it is not the sole determining factor.
When Positive Thinking Becomes Unnatural
Positive thinking can become a source of stress when you believe your attitude alone can resolve all situations. Breast cancer patient Barbara Ehrenrich recounts in her January 2010 article in "The Guardian": "Breast cancer, I can now report, did not make me prettier or stronger, more feminine or spiritual. What it gave me, if you want to call this a 'gift', was a very personal, agonizing encounter with an ideological force in American culture that I had not been aware of before---one that encourages us to deny reality, submit cheerfully to misfortune and blame only ourselves for our fate." As positive thinking becomes delusional, it causes suffering.
Feeling Isolated
According to the American Psychological Association, "No universally effective stress reduction techniques exist. We are all different, our lives are different, our situations are different, and our reactions are different. Only a comprehensive program tailored to the individual works." The most popular forms of stress reduction, including positive thinking, might not apply to your situation. When popular culture suggests that you should be able to control your life through your attitude, and when this solution does not work, you might experience the added stress of perceived isolation.
Feeling Your True Emotions Brings Relief
Dr. Johan Denollet of Tilburg University in The Netherlands reported findings of a study on suppressed anger and heart attacks. His team found a connection between people with Type D personalities, people who tend to have trouble expressing anger, and heart attacks. When you acknowledge your true feelings of anger or sadness, you can find relief from the stress of having to pretend you feel otherwise. Emotions are real. Denying your emotions does not get rid of them. They can provide important information to help you bring change to your life.
Getting Help
Relief from stress can come in many forms. The American Psychological Association suggests identifying the source of your stress. Sometimes, simply being able to name the source brings relief even before you make any changes. Go for a walk or meditate to allow yourself to address the sensation of stress rather than the story of the events of your situation. Reach out and talk with friends or join a group. Having a sense of community can remind you of the resources available.
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