If you are dissatisfied with your life circumstances, you will need to accept that they will not change until your actions change. You cannot act powerfully, however, until you begin thinking powerfully. Powerful thinking is positive, constructive, fearless, optimistic and realistic. Furthermore, if you develop a positive attitude, you will be happier even when your circumstances are slow to change. The development of a positive attitude takes knowledge and training.
Recognize the Unseen Power of Thoughts
Most of us consider thoughts to be something less than "real," because they are invisible. Yet our thoughts determine the nature of our decisions--and therefore our actions--and they exert a tremendous influence on our moods and our personal effectiveness. You will need to develop a new attitude toward the importance of your thoughts, and this will take consistent practice. Read as much material as you can on the importance of thinking correctly, and frequently remind yourself that thoughts are important.
Decide What You Want
Take some time to do some soul-searching to determine exactly what it is that you want the most in life. Don't censor yourself with thoughts of what is realistic or ethical. Wait until you have clarified your desires, and then modify them just enough to make them as realistic and ethical as they need to be. These modified desires should become your goals in life, because it is much easier to get where you want to be if you know where you're going.
Identify Negative Thinking Patterns
The minds of many people are full of destructive and unproductive thinking patterns. The Mayo Clinic has identified several such patterns--catastrophizing, or assuming the worst possible outcome; filtering, or ignoring positive aspects of complex scenarios; polarization, better known as "black-and-white" thinking; and personalizing, or blaming yourself for adverse circumstances without good cause.
Monitor Your Thoughts
Begin periodically asking yourself the question, "What am I thinking at this moment?" and seeking to identify any negative thinking patterns within your stream of thought, including patterns not mentioned above. It will take several weeks of consistent practice before you become proficient at this.
Control Your Internal Dialogue
Once you have become proficient at monitoring your own thoughts and identifying negative thinking patterns, you should begin consciously intervening in your stream of thought to replace negative thinking patterns with positive ones, according to Daniel G. Amen, MD, clinical neuroscientist and author of "Change Your Brain, Change your Life." An example would be to examine the complex nuances of a situation rather than immediately labeling it "good" or "bad." Dr. Amen asserts that the process of conscious intervention and thought replacement will neutralize negative thinking patterns and change your beliefs and feelings in a constructive manner.
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