Communication is a common problem among people in all types of relationships, including business, family and romantic relationships. Couples tend to experience more communication difficulties than people in work or business relationships, simply because they have deeper emotions invested in the relationship. If you and your spouse or significant other are having trouble communicating, there are simple strategies you can use to avoid misunderstandings, arguments and other communication problems.
View Feelings Objectively
One of the most common communication problems between couples occurs because one partner relays feelings, but the other interprets them as misstated facts. Feelings are different from facts, says Penny Foreman, LCSW, MFT. While your partner may communicate feelings that distort the facts as you see them, remember that the "facts" surrounding a disagreement are colored by your respective emotions.
For example, your partner may say, "You always forget to take out the trash." While it's unlikely that you forget to take out the trash every single time, your partner's statement deals more with feelings--in this case, frustration--than whether you actually neglect your chores 100 percent of the time.
View Complaints As Requests
In "Top 5 Communication Tips for Couples," David Steele explains that both partners bring many needs to a relationship, and conflict sometimes arises when a need is not met. Instead of taking your partner's complaint personally and becoming defensive, view it as a request for you to meet a need. Although change doesn't happen overnight, you can use this communication to gradually build a stronger relationship.
Monitor Non-Verbal Communication
Most of us think of communication as a verbal exchange, but non-verbal communication also plays an important role in your relationship. Your voice tone, facial expressions, posture, hand gestures and other physical acts give your partner information about how you are feeling, says Foreman. Make sure you are looking at your partner when the two of you are talking, and avoid crossing your arms, slouching or exhibiting other non-verbal communication cues that tell your partner you are not interested in the exchange.
Respond with Concern and Understanding
Responding to your partner with genuine interest, understanding and concern is one of the easiest ways to improve communication--it often fulfills your partner's primary emotional needs, notes Foreman. An atmosphere of caring and understanding can help diffuse arguments and lead you and your partner to work together to strengthen your relationship.
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