Sexual Health FAQs 6

Sexual FAQs - VI



Q. Where is my clitoris?

A. I get asked this question a lot. Try your public library; get a book on Human Anatomy and Physiology. Look at their drawings for a better understanding of the anatomy. **Update: Go to page 15 or the FAQ pages for a drawing of the female anatomy.

I can't tell you exactly where yours is, but I will answer these FAQs: “Where is the clitoris located in the female?” “Is it different in every female?" “What is the easiest way to locate it?"

The clitoris is an extremely sensitive erectile organ located below the pubic bone, within and close to the top of the labia. The labia (majora and minora) are the outer and inner folds of skin that surround the clitoris, the urethra opening and the vagina.

Yes, the urethra is where you urinate out of.

The glans (or tip) of the clitoris is the part that you can see. It attaches to the shaft, which runs along internally from the glans. The clitoris connects to a branching interior system of erectile tissue that runs throughout a woman's genital area. The erectile tissue responds to sexual arousal by filling with blood and becoming harder and erect, similar to a man's penis.

During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position a bit, but don't expect it to look erect like a penis does. The clitoris is covered by a clitoral hood that is actually part of the labia. The size and shape of the clitoris varies in each woman, although its location is pretty much the same for all women.

For more on the female anatomy, see Hymen and Your Vagina.

Q. I recently touched my girlfriend's vagina and I think my hand still had dried semen on it from (whatever). Could she get pregnant from this?

A. Not from that, but maybe you should be washing your hands more often. Although sperm can live for up to 5 to 6 days inside the female body (note that I said "up to"), it cannot live very long on clothing, hands or a tabletop. I would be very surprised if there were even any still living on your hand 2 hours later. Sorry if you wanted to hear something else. I don't see fatherhood in your future from that.

Q. I'm a 21-year-old female and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have had sex for over a year now, and I am still unable to have an orgasm during sex with him. Is this normal for most women?

A. It is very common for young women to have difficulty achieving orgasm, particularly during intercourse. But I don't really know why.

Most women are able to figure out some way they can reach orgasm, whether it is through oral or manual stimulation. The problem may be that, in general, there is entirely too much focus on the mechanical aspects of the female sexual function.

One consistent feature I have noticed being overlooked (from the email that I get) is the emotional connection women have with their sexual functioning. Most women who are able to feel comfortably intimate with their partners, and who have partners who are loving and responsive to their needs, will function well physically and orgasm easily.

Your partner's emotional support and awareness of your needs are really important. You may not have control over this, but you should learn to express your needs to that person. Look carefully at this relationship to be sure there is in fact an intimate connection. If there are significant shortcomings, recognize that most relationships in your age group do ultimately end. (Sorry, it's a fact of life.). But they are part of the learning process, which leads to understanding who you are in a relationship and what your needs are sexually, emotionally and in terms of intimacy.


Q. Me and my girlfriend are having a baby. She is in her fourth month; can we have sex, and will it hurt the baby?

A. Unless your midwife or obstetrician has told you otherwise, you and your girl can have sex. Unless there are complications with the pregnancy, it is safe to have sex, because the fetus is protected by a cushioning sac of amniotic fluid that surrounds it. Think of a chicken egg: Your fetus is like the yellow yolk part in the middle of all that egg white.

Pregnancy can affect sex in other ways, however. Hormonal changes that accompany pregnancy often influence a woman's moods, which could influence her desire to have sex. For some couples, nausea, weight gain and fatigue may present challenges to sex and the enjoyment of it.

Changing positions is important because some women may experience sex differently while they're pregnant. What they once found pleasurable before pregnancy may no longer feel the same. That's why it can help for the woman to listen to her body and act appropriately. This is especially true if a woman has any pain or uterine bleeding, or if her "water is broken," in which case she'll need to avoid sexual intercourse and see a health-care provider right away.

Your midwife or obstetrician should be able to advise you on these matters. Don't be afraid to ask questions.