Mental & Verbal Abuse

Do you know when you or someone you love is the victim of abuse? It's relatively easy to identify physical abuse, because it causes injuries that you can see. Mental and verbal abuse causes injuries, as well, but it's not quite as easy to see. Like physical abuse, mental and verbal assault can leave lasting scars, according to Helpguide.org, a website whose mission is helping people "understand, prevent and resolve many of life's challenges."

Abusive Relationships

Domestic violence inflicts pain, humiliation and worse, according to Helpguide.org. The goal of the abuser is to control. Perpetrators use any means ranging from insults to intimidation and threats, Helpguide says. Partners in an abusive relationship can be any race, any age and any income and education level. They may be heterosexual or gay. Although women are more frequently the victims of domestic violence, they can also be the perpetrators, according to Helpguide.

Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse often starts innocuously and builds from there. An abusive husband may tell his wife that she would look better in another outfit and eventually hurl insults at her, telling her that she's fat and calling her names. He may yell at her if the house isn't clean when he gets home or criticize her mothering. The purpose is not only to control, but also to keep the mate off balance, making her question her abilities, her appearance and her worth. When verbally abused long enough, the victim may begin to fear her partner and the consequences of anything that she does or fails to do.

Mental Symptoms

Sustained verbal abuse leads to emotional problems, according to Helpguide. The dynamic may be similar to what happens to the hostages of kidnappers, the Stockholm Syndrome, according to Dr. Joseph Carver of the MentalHealthMatters website. The hostages bond with the kidnapper. This bond can be very hard to break, as the victim has accepted the abuser as the one with the power and has bought into his assessment of her. This weakens her ability to leave and rebuild her identity and self-esteem. If you are in such a relationship and can see what's happening, find a domestic violence program in your city. Any good domestic violence program addresses emotional, as well as physical abuse.

Toxic People

"Toxic relationships are volatile, angry and abusive," the social work website HelpStartshere says. Such a relationship will remain that way as long as the status quo continues. The abuser has a strong sense of entitlement, and the victim is caught. Some abusers cannot be helped easily, as they may not want to change and they may also have an emotional disorder. The victims are often another matter. With insight and support, a victim can leave the relationship, start seeing herself in a fresh light and build a new life for herself.

Getting out

If you are in such a relationship and can see what's happening, find a domestic violence program in your city. If you don't know what your city offers, call the national domestic violence hotline, 1-800-799-233. Any good domestic violence program addresses emotional, as well as physical abuse.