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How do you know if you’re ready for sex? There is no simple answer, and no one -- not even an article on the Internet -- can decide this for you. How does you decide when the time is right to have sex? Asking yourself some questions is a good start, and might help you determine how you really feel -- forget about what you friends or your boyfriend or girlfriend want, and focus on your own answers.
Some Questions to Ask Yourself
Do you have any moral or religious beliefs that might make sex the wrong decision for you? How do you feel about the relationship you are in? What do you think might happen as a result of having sex? Do you really understand the potential physical and emotional consequences? How do you think you will feel about your partner and, more important, about yourself if you decide to have sex or if you decide to wait? What do you know about STDs and birth control? Do you trust, respect and love your partner? Are those feelings mutual? Do you feel pressured to have sex? Is there pressure from your partner, friends or any other source? Do you feel that you and your partner can make a decision right now, and does it feel comfortable to you? Can you talk openly to your partner about your decision?
Talk About It
These questions should stimulate thought and discussion with your partner, and some teens can even talk to their parents about these questions. Most parents, when approached realistically, will try to understand and be helpful. If you feel like you can't discuss any of these topics with your partner, however, that is a big red flag that you're not ready yet. Open discussion is easily the most important part of getting ready to have sex. You must know what your partner feels, what each of you are comfortable doing and what each of you will do to prevent pregnancy or the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.
Legally Speaking
You should know that the law varies on the age of consent -- the age under which it is a crime to have sexual intercourse -- in different parts of the world. It usually ranges from age 16 to age 18. This is also true for the United States, although in a few states the legal age is younger than 16. You would be breaking the law if you had sex before the age of consent in your state. Find out what the age is in your state.
If You're Not Ready
People decide to not have sex for a variety of reasons. Many teenagers have chosen abstinence. Many people do not want to take the risks of having sex until the relationship is a long-term one. Some decide to wait for religious or moral reasons, and others just do not feel they are physically or emotionally ready. It’s not "weird" to decide not to have sex, whether or not you're a virgin. If you don't feel totally comfortable, or if you are still in doubt after thinking about the question, then you probably aren't ready. It might help to talk to someone you trust.
