Almost 600,000 children are in the foster care system each year, 46 percent of which reside with non-relative foster families, according to 2009 data from the U.S. Child Welfare Information Gateway. If you've made the decision to become a foster parent, you'll experience a roller coaster of emotions with each child you house. To be a good foster parent, you must maintain a degree of compassion and understanding, have a thick skin, and the knowledge that you are doing all that you can to give kids a temporary, yet loving, home.
Talk to Your Family
Discuss with your biological family the impact that having foster children in the home will have. You will want to ensure that your entire family understands the changes that may take place and that they are all equally supportive of the decision to welcome foster children into the home. Allow your family members to voice their concerns and, if possible, give them the background of your incoming foster child so they can understand that the foster child is separated from her family and may feel scared or lonely, says the A Place of Our Own website.
Build Connections
When your foster child first arrives in your home, he may seem reluctant to talk or join in family activities. Build connections through commonalities that are easily identifiable, recommends the Foster Parenting website. Perhaps you share a favorite sport, a favorite treat or both enjoy the same television shows. Allow the child time to become acclimated to the atmosphere in your home. While he may seem timid at first, as he spends time with you, he'll become more comfortable.
Spend Time
Welcome your foster child into the family and spend plenty of time together. As a foster child, her relationship with her own family may have skewed her opinion on families in general. It's important that you give her the most loving family experience possible, says the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, especially if your foster child is troubled or has a varied background. Plan activities to do together, like family hikes, road trips or family game nights.
Avoid Pressure
Your expectations of your foster parent experience may be dashed when you receive an especially difficult child. It can be tempting to do all that you can to make your foster child feel like part of the family, but some children will be reluctant. Don't force your foster child to spend time or communicate with you. If he feels safe and comfortable, he'll come to you. Pressuring him to talk may bring about the opposite result--a closed-off and emotionally dangerous child that wants nothing to do with a foster family. Show patience and love and allow him to come around on his own schedule.
