A strong-willed child can make your life difficult. Despite your best parenting efforts, your child continues to be belligerent and disobedient and offers little respect for authority, making it hard for you to socialize with other children and adults. A strong-willed child may also be the sign of other more severe developmental and sensory disabilities, so it's important to evaluate your child. Look for the signs of a strong-willed child so you can meet with your pediatrician and voice your concerns as part of a treatment process.
Lack of Respect
While most children quickly reform their behavior when spoken to by an adult or teacher, strong-willed children offer little respect or recognition for authority, according to Rex Lloyd Forehand and Nicholas James Long's book "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child." No matter who is offering direction or correction, a strong-willed child ignores or even blatantly disrespects the person in charge.
Inconsideration
A strong-willed child doesn't process things the same way another child does, so he doesn't understand or consider others' feelings. He doesn't understand the benefits that come from the consideration of someone's feelings or efforts, and often his actions throughout the day prove that. The Association for the Advancement of Psychosynthesis notes that he doesn't mind if someone is hurt or inconvenienced, as long as his goals are accomplished.
Communication Problems
A strong-willed child lives in her own head, so she may not tell others what her plans entail. Often, instead of communicating what she wants, she' simply becomes uncooperative or troublesome when she doesn't get her way, even when she never voices her wants or needs to you. This can cause problems when the two of you are in public and you endure a tantrum because of the imagined ideas of your strong-willed child.
Creativity and Imagination
Families.com notes that strong-willed children, while difficult to communicate with and direct, can often have a highly developed imagination or creativity skills. Their overactive imaginations may be a delight during play time, but can cause problems when you insist on a better sense of reality. Drawing, writing and acting can be good creative outlets to teach a strong-willed child the difference between imagination and reality.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Children who suffer from oppositional defiant disorder, or ODD, often show signs of being strong-willed as well. Children with ODD have many of the same signs of as a strong-willed child, but the signs are persistent and last for more than six months. A child with ODD may also argue, throw tantrums and have a negative attitude in conjunction with her strong-willfulness. Help from a medical professional can get your child's ODD symptoms under control through therapy and medications, says MayoClinic.com.
References
- Parenting the Strong-Willed Child : Rex Lloyd Forehand, Nicholas James Long; 2002
- Association for the Advancement of Psychosynthesis: Living with Strong-Willed Children
- Families.com: Characteristics of Strong Willed Toddlers
- MayoClinic.com: Oppositional Defiance Disorder
