Anger is a normal emotion in all people, including children. We need anger for both physical self defense, as part of our fight or flight impulse, and to help us combat people who try to abuse or take advantage of us. While most people are uncomfortable with angry outbursts in children, it is important to understand that eliminating anger is neither possible, nor even desirable. However, it is essential to your child's well being that he learns appropriate ways to control and channel anger.
Normal Anger Behaviors
There are numerous behaviors parents and educators can expect from children, even if they don't have significant problems with anger. Some of these behaviors include tantrums, teasing others, arguments over toys and possessions, disobedience and physical altercations, such as biting, kicking, hair pulling and hitting, notes the University of North Florida. Failure to address these types of behavior can lead to poor school performance, interpersonal conflicts and an escalation of violent behavior.
Aggression
Children with more serious anger issues will often begin to display aggressive behaviors that go beyond the occasional angry outbursts of other children. According to Healthy Children, signs of serious aggression can include physically harming himself or others and being sent home from school or being banned from playing with other children due to physical altercations and outbursts. The frequency of incidents is also significant. Children with serious anger management issues or conduct disorders can rarely make it through even a few weeks without an aggressive incident, notes Healthy Children.
Causes for Problem Anger
Many different types of factors can contribute to anger management problems in children. Parents who have trouble controlling their own angry outbursts can teach children that aggression is the proper response to anger. Children who witness abuse, or are abused themselves, can display symptomatic anger problems. The University of North Florida suggests violent media, from television to video games, may contribute to children's inability to grasp the consequences of violence. In addition, a family history of mental health problems could also be a factor in child aggression.
Behavior Modification Techniques
Children need to learn coping skills in order to handle anger. Introducing problem solving techniques, impulse control and stress management are ways to help children cope with feelings of anger, notes the University of North Florida. According to Empowering Parents, it is particularly important to stand your ground if your child has learned that bullying is a good way to emotionally blackmail you into giving him what he wants. Empowering Parents suggests learning to endure the embarrassment of ignoring your child during a public tantrum, to help him see that anger has no positive reward for him. In addition, rewarding your child when he handles his anger can be an effective form of positive reinforcement, notes the Child Development Institute.
Medical Intervention
If your child's anger issues are so serious that he represents a danger to himself or others, you will need to seek help from qualified medical professionals. Mental health professionals specializing in children will assess your child via therapy sessions and observations of the child in different settings, such as school and home. Your child's doctor will work with you and your child to develop personalized strategies for managing your child's behavior, as well as teaching you how to respond to that anger appropriately, says Healthy Children.
