If there is any aspect of maturity that you need to attain as you grow into adulthood, it is self-confidence. With the responsibilities that come with being an adult--family issues, job-related issues, relationships, and being a good member of your community--you need to move with confidence knowing and believing you are making the right decisions. Without self-confidence, you can be paralyzed with doubt, guilt, indecision, and go through life rudderless, without aim or meaning.
Small Steps
If you have reached adulthood via a path filled with mediocrity and a few failures, you probably do not have a great deal of self-confidence. To start building a foundation of self-confidence, Denny Dicke suggests in his book "Unleash the Champion" that you have to train yourself to believe in you. This is accomplished by taking any and all small successes you achieve and using them as building blocks to believe in yourself. Once that is accomplished, you have established a foundation of self-confidence in which you can then build upon.
Self-Love
Before you can establish self-confidence, you have to love and believe in yourself. In his book "Your Erroneous Zones," Dr. Wayne Dyer notes that children naturally think of themselves as beautiful and important. By adolescence, however, society's negative messages have taken root, and self-doubt has blossomed. Dyer points out that you must love yourself first and not depend on others for your value. This newfound self-love can be the key stone in the foundation of your self-confidence.
Self-Empowerment
Another important element leading to self-confidence as an adult is overcoming the need of constantly seeking the approval of others. Dyer says that when you continually seek the approval of others its like saying, "Your view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself." Stephen Covey in "The 8th Habit" suggests that you can overcome this need for approval from others with self-empowerment. This requires vision, discipline and passion, all guided by conscious direction, in a principled way.
Self-Meaning
One more building block in your foundation of self-confidence is self-meaning. "What is the meaning of life?" asks Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience." He states that the answer is astonishingly simple, "The meaning of life is meaning!" From this definition, there comes a unified purpose that gives meaning to life. With this purpose, you start to gain and rely on your self-confidence to make your own decisions and guide your own life. He continues that with this self-confidence comes the inner strength and serenity of a person who has comes to terms with herself.
The Result is Self-Confidence
A real indication of your maturity as an adult is the laying down of these building blocks that comprise self-confidence, taking charge of your decisions and taking responsibility for your actions. Dicke says that once you have established your self-confidence, when you are faced with difficult, life-changing situations, you will face it with great anticipation and excitement because of the strong sense of belief which your mental conditioning has instilled in you.
References
- "Unleash the Champion"; Denny Dicke; 2007
- "Your Erroneous Zones"; Dr. Wayne Dyer: 1995
- "The 8th Habit"; Stephen Covey; 2004
- "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience"; Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi; 1990
Member Comments