Grieving Friends

Unfortunately, grief is a normal part of the human experience for many of us. It can be triggered by major stressors such as death of a loved one, recent diagnosis of a major or terminal medical condition or divorce. Grief is often a normal human reaction to such an event, although it can become complicated if the grieving person grieves for a prolonged period of time, has difficulty accepting the loss or has a sense of hopelessness about the future. If you know someone who is grieving after a major loss, there are some things you can do to ease this difficult period.
1. Be available.
2. Face your own feelings of loss and grief.
3. Be open and honest. Create an atmosphere of open acceptance that invites questions and fosters confidence and love.
4. Encourage expressions of grief (talking, crying, yelling, etc.).
5. Listen with your ears, eyes and heart.
6. Touch your loved one. Touch can be therapeutic, but only if you think your loved one would be comfortable with this. This often "says" more than words. Touch can say, "I know what happened and I care. I am here if you need me."
7. Do not isolate or insulate a friend from grief. Grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind.
8. Acknowledge the reality that grief hurts. Do not attempt to rescue the person (or yourself) from hurt. Work through the pain.
9. Respect a person's need to grieve. Almost anything can trigger grief.
10. Realize that grief causes difficulty in concentrating. Teenagers often experience a shortened attention span. School work is often affected.
11. Maintain a normal daily routine, if at all possible. Continuity becomes a safety net for grieving teenagers. The continuity of attending school daily, being required to perform certain tasks in and out of school and having a social routine provides teens with some security and sense of stability in a topsy-turvy world.
12. Understand that people will continue to deal with the losses and changes they experience as they grow and mature. They may never get over their loss, but they can learn to grow through the grief and discover that love never goes away. Let them know that there can be a bright future after a painful loss, but that healing takes time.