"Helping" an alcoholic can be quite the challenge. As the saying goes: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force him to drink." Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling and powerful disease and few escape its deadly grip. Nonetheless, there are certain steps you can take to increase the likelihood that she will. Please also remember this: You don't have to wait for someone to "hit rock bottom" before you act. The sooner alcoholism is detected and treated, the least amount of damage done and the better chance for recovery.
<B>Learn Everything You Can About Alcoholism</B> You have to know what you're dealing with before you can help. Alcoholism is a complex and deadly disease that is best understood from a biopsychosocial/spiritual perspective. There is no known cure, but there is hope for recovery. Read everything you can get your hands on. Talk to experts in the field. Know the facts.
<B>Cultivate Compassion and Empathy</B> Put a little love in your heart. Try to understand that the alcoholic is in the grips of a progressive disease have lost all power and control. He didn't choose it. It chose him. An understanding of the inner pain, self-loathing, and remorse he is suffering is essential.
<B>Don't Keep The Secret Anymore</B> "Let the cat out of the bag." "Take the bull by the horns." Speak your truth! Go ahead! Do it! Let not only the alcoholic know that you understand the truth about what's really going on--but everyone else connected to the alcoholic. Don't hide behind the walls of secrecy, avoidance and denial. Alcoholism flourishes in, and feeds off, the darkness. Shine the light of truth upon it.
<B>Stop All "Cover Ups" and "Rescue Missions"</B> Family members often try to protect the alcoholic from the consequences of her drinking or make excuses for it. It is important to stop covering up and rescuing so she can experience the harmful effects. This will likely increase her motivation to accept help. Pain often pushes people to change.
<B>Time Your Intervention</B> The best time to strike is when "the iron is hot," so to speak. In others words, your intervention will have the greatest impact on the alcoholic if you deliver it as soon as possible after an alcohol-related problem has occurred. Examples could include immediately after a drunken-driving incident or family argument. Make sure you are calm, that he is sober and you have a quiet, private place to talk.
<B>K.I.S.S.</B> Keep it simple and be specific. Don't go into a long diatribe. Just state the facts. Be precise, concise and matter of fact. Tell the alcoholic you are concerned about her drinking. Give specific examples including the most recent incident.
<B>State The Consequences</B> Tell the alcoholic what you will, or will not do, if he chooses not to get help. Tell them your choice to respond to their continued drinking isn't about punishing them, but protecting yourself from the problems associated with his drinking. You may refuse to attend social activities if he has been drinking, or even go so far as to terminate the relationship. Be careful to choose consequences that you are prepared to follow through on. Be firm in your resolve.
<B>Be Prepared to Help</B> Put together a packet of information on all the treatment options available in the alcoholic's area. Provide contact information including names and phone numbers of people ready and willing to help. Find out what her/his insurance benefits are. Empower the alcoholic with knowledge and increased choice. Let them know they are not in it alone… that help is available.
<B>Have a Plan of Action</B> When she finally says "YES" – have a plan of action ready to implement. Make it as easy for the alcoholic to get all the help s/he both needs and deserves. Give them a clear path of action to follow… one step... one day at a time.
<B>Find Strength in Numbers</B> The more people (e.g. friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, professionals) you can get to join you in your efforts at helping, the better.
<B>Get Help for Yourself</B> We can't really change anybody else but ourselves. As such, the best thing you can do if you want to help an alcoholic is to get help for yourself. Consider attending an Al-Anon meeting or talking with a professional counselor who specializes in alcoholism and other addictions treatment. Only the alcoholic can fix things for themselves.
For More Information, contact one or more of the following resources:
National Drug Information Treatment and Referral Hotline
800-662-HELP (4357)
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) World Services
(212) 870-3400
www.aa.org
Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters
(757) 563-1600
www.al-anon.alateen.org
National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA)
(301) 468-0985
www.nacoa.net
National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD)
212/269-7797
Hope Line: 800/NCA-CALL (24-hour Affiliate referral)
www.ncadd.org
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
(301) 443-3860
www.niaaa.nih.gov
Help an Alcoholic
Jul 16, 2009 | By
