About Spousal Abuse

Spousal abuse is a widespread problem. According to Amnesty International USA, a woman in the US experiences an act of battery every 15 seconds. (See reference 1) Spousal abuse, or domestic violence, takes many different forms. Spousal abuse can be physical, emotional or mental and occurs across races and economic classes. (See reference 2)

Signs

The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress reports internal signs of spousal abuse as inner feelings of fear, self-hatred, numbness and desperation. The AAETS identifies signs of an abusive spouse as displaying a lack of control over his own emotions, attempts to control you and engaging in threatening or belittling behavior.

Cycle

Spousal abuse follows a pattern, called the cycle of abuse. During the initial phase, the abuser's actions escalate. The abuser uses various tactics to dominate the victim such as controlling finances or isolating her from friends and family. The controlling behavior primes the victim for an upcoming escalation of events. An acute incident of violence marks the next phase in the abuse cycle, often resulting in physical battery. In the final phase, called de-escalation, the abuser appears remorseful and often promises to get help. The cycle of abuse repeats indefinitely. (See reference 4)

Causes

The atmosphere during upbringing greatly influences the likelihood of future domestic violence and spousal abuse. AAETS says that childhood exposure to a father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for transmitting abuse to the next generation. Abusing a spouse seems normal for adults who grew up seeing violence as the acceptable means of dealing with anger. Inadequate community support services and a lack of appropriate police response may also contribute to the crisis of spousal abuse. (See reference 3)

Effects

Spousal abuse causes a variety of adverse effects, which can last for a very long time. Victims of spousal abuse may suffer from sleeping problems, depression, trust issues, anger, inability to work and many other issues. Children who witness spousal abuse risk developing serious emotional, behavioral or developmental problems. Children who witness domestic violence may perform badly at school and are more likely to attempt suicide. (See reference 3)

Misconceptions

Many people think that an abuser cannot control his emotions; that is not the case. An abusive spouse makes a deliberate decision not to control his emotions and actions. Assertions that the victim is to blame or somehow provoked the abuse are incorrect. No human being deserves abuse or mistreatment. Dispelling the stereotypes about spousal abuse helps raise awareness and encourage victims to get help. (See reference 5)