Bad behavior. Aggressive behavior. Out-of-control behavior. In spite of the frequency of phrases like these, the word "behavior" is not by itself a negative word, but a neutral word. Behavior refers to people's reactions to their environment. For example, when an individual's car breaks down, one behavior is to yell and scream, whereas another behavior is to call a friend and ask for help. Behavior skills, taught to children by parents, teachers and mentors, provide methods and options for children to interact with others in appropriate ways.
Respectful Behavior Skills
Respectful behavior includes eye contact, kind words, apologizing, helping, taking responsibility and forgiving others. Reading and discussing stories and role-playing are possible formats to teach respectful behavior skills. When role-playing respectful behavior, have children demonstrate respectful and disrespectful ways to handle issues such as meeting someone new, apologizing for breaking something and helping a teacher who has dropped an item on the floor.
Self-regulation Behavior Skills
Children with self-regulation behavior skills manage their emotions appropriately. If another child makes them angry, they don't yell or hit, they walk away. If mom or dad tells them to do a chore they don't want to do, they say, "I don't like doing that chore," but they do it anyway. The University of Rochester Medical Center reports that a program teaching children to control and monitor their anger and other emotions improved classroom behaviors. The children also had fewer disciplinary suspensions and referrals. Teaching methods for acquiring the skills included interactive learning, practice and regular mentoring.
Problem-solving Behavior Skills
Problem-solving behavior skills develop when children must solve their own difficulties. Parents and teachers who ask questions such as, "How do you think you can solve that?" and "What's one way you can fix it?" provide children with motivation and encouragement to solve challenges. Children also learn problem-solving behaviors by reading books about children who face, confront and resolve problems. Dr. Katherine Reiter, owner of Creative Case Management in Asheville, North Carolina, remarks that parents too often try to fix things for their children rather than giving their children the opportunity to develop problem-solving skills.
Social Behavior Skills
Social behavior skills include taking turns, sharing, listening and following the rules. According to Embrace the Future Resiliency Resource Centre, social success creates children who are more resilient and more likely to succeed in school than children without social skill abilities. One way that social behavior skills are learned is through repeated, explicit prompts. For example, instead of saying, "Be a good sport," children should be told, "Don't taunt someone who loses the game." Role-playing, along with feedback from parents and teachers helps teach children social behavior skills.
References
- University of Rochester Medical Center: Teaching Self-Control Skills to Children Reduces Classroom Problems
- "Beyond Behavior Management: The Six Life Skills Children Need to Thrive in Today's World"; Jenna Bilmes; 2004
- AtHealth.com: Good Behavior is not "Magic" - It's a Skill: The Three Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior
- Embrace the Future Resiliency Resource Centre: Social Skills
