Grief hurts physically and emotionally. It occurs as a natural emotional response to loss, such as the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship or job loss. Grief may also result from seemingly positive events, such as moving or beginning a new career, that require ending a stage of life. The grieving process is difficult but necessary to cut emotional ties to the past before investing that energy into new opportunities or situations.
Stages
Grieving occurs in stages marked by the predominant emotions experienced as you come to terms with the loss, says the University of Texas at Dallas (UTD). The stages are not sequential. Some people may experience the stages in a different order, skip stages altogether or revisit a stage they had previously worked through. In general, the stages of grief are denial, numbness or shock; bargaining, which may include thoughts of how the loss could have been prevented; depression; anger and feelings of helplessness and resentment; and acceptance.
Healthy Grieving
At the end of the grieving process, you should be able to remember the loss with a sense of peace, not the sharp emotional pain experienced while grieving. The intent is not to forget, explains UTD. Healthy grieving does not ignore mourning or sadness but instead acknowledges grief as a way to heal emotionally. The process takes time and is highly personal, notes the website HelpGuide.org. Grieving is a natural process that needs no direction, but the way in which you grieve and the duration of the process depends on your coping mechanisms, religious beliefs, life experiences and the nature of the loss.
Unhealthy Grieving
Acknowledging the importance of grieving is an important part of the grieving process, says UTD. Recognizing grief allows you to actively express feelings of sadness and anger, make peace with the loss and begin a new stage of life. Avoiding feelings or minimizing emotions hinders the healing process. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs or using work, school or other activities to push aside rather than confront emotions delays acceptance.
Coping
A support network made up of family, friends, clergy or a therapist can help you through the grieving process, states HelpGuide. Recording feelings in a journal or a letter to the lost loved one helps resolve feelings of abandonment and sadness. Understand that everyone must work through grief at his own pace and in his own way. Do not hesitate to seek help as you plan ahead to handle difficult events, such as anniversaries or birthdays.
Unrelenting Grief
While the sense of loss never disappears, the intense emotional grief should lessen with time, says HelpGuide. If it does not, you may have complicated grief. Complicated or unrelenting grief can trap you in a persistent state of mourning, preventing acceptance of the loss so you can move on. Constant depression marked by feelings of despair, a pervasive sense of guilt or preoccupation with dying or suicide signals complicated grief. Seek professional help if you show signs of unrelenting depression.
