Running Away

It's estimated that on any given night, between 500 and 1,000 homeless teenagers roam the streets of Seattle, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Miami and other major cities. Many of these teenagers are runaways--children under the age of 18 who leave their home or place of legal residence without the permission of their parents or guardians. They come from every social class, race and religion. They are usually hungry, scared, desperate and very vulnerable to crime.

If you think a friend is about to run away, ask him these questions:
1. What else can you do to improve your home situation before you leave?
2. What would make you stay at home?
3. How will you survive alone?
4. What will you do for money?
5. Is running away safe?
6. Who can you count on for help?
7. Are you being realistic?
8. Have you given this enough thought?
9. What are your other options?
10. If you end up in trouble, who will you call?
11. When you return home, what will happen?


Why Run Away?
The most common reason that teens run away is family disagreement over issues such as curfew, behavior, how they dress, grades and their choice of friends. Teens also may choose to run away because of problems they are afraid to face, such as bullying at school, pregnancy, sexual orientation or alcohol and drug problems.

Some teens may choose life on the street because of emotional, physical or sexual abuse in their home. The nature of any kind of abuse--the shame, and the possible involvement of parents, stepparents, or other family members--may make it extremely difficult to talk about. Encourage your friend to tell a teacher, counselor, school nurse, clergy person or another trustworthy adult. Offer to go along with your friend to give him support. Let your friend know that being abused is not his fault. Be clear to your friend: Nothing about what he says or the way he looks or behaves gives ANYONE the right to abuse him.


Signs That Your Friend May Run Away
1. She has sudden and dramatic mood swings that affect eating and socializing patterns.
2. His school grades or attendance suddenly worsen.
3. She suddenly starts carrying large amounts of money and even asks you to keep some of it.
4. He gives away clothing and other valuable items.
5. She starts talking to you about running away. “Do you think anyone would miss me if I leave home?” (Take these statements seriously!)

If you are afraid that your friend may run away:
1. Let him know that running away will not solve anything. It will make things worse.
2. Ask your friend to get permission to stay with you and your family for a couple of days.
3. Encourage your friend to talk to her parents, grandparents or a teacher.
4. If your friend says he is being abused, tell your parents immediately. Your friend’s life may depend on it, and your parents can call the police, local child protective services, or 1-800-4-A-CHILD (Childhelp USA) .


Problems of Being A Runaway
According to the National Runaway Hotline, 9 out of 10 teens return home or are returned to their home by the police within a month--but your friend may not be one of the lucky 90 percent who returns home. A lot can happen in one month. Many runaways who remain on the street for 2 or more weeks will become involved in theft, drugs or pornography. One out of every three teens on the street will be lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home. Problems at home might be replaced by more serious and dangerous problems on the street, and the risk is not worth it.


Family Communication
Being a teen is not easy. There are a whole lot of ups and downs, changes and new experiences. Sometimes it may feel that parents don’t make things easier with their demands. "My parents don't listen to me!" is the most common complaint teens and even younger children have about their parents. Parents, on the other hand, have the same complaint: "My child won't listen to me!"

Family Communication Tips:
1. Set aside time to talk to your parents every day.
2. Don't expect your parents to read your mind.
3. Be specific about your expectations and requests.
4. Have patience--good communication takes time and effort.
5. Brainstorm ideas with your parents before making a final decision.
6. Ask for input from all family members.
7. Write things down. Make a list of changes you want to see.
8. Be willing to compromise with your parents.
9. Use community resources when you need help. Ask a teacher or school counselor for leads.

If this doesn’t work, and you find yourself in a crisis with your parents, contact the National Runaway Hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY). They can help you work through your problems and even set up conference calls with you and your parents. The hotline is staffed 24 hours a day. It is also confidential and free. Remember, running away doesn’t solve anything. It can make things worse.


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Resources in The United States:

Hotlines
National Runaway Switchboard – phone 1-800-RUNAWAY
Child Find of America, Inc. ( New York) – phone 1-800-A WAY OUT
National Missing Children's Locate Center of Oregon : 1-800-999-7846
"Home Free" Bus Service – Greyhound Lines, in conjunction with the National Runaway Switchboard, will provide free one way transportation for runaway children returning home through its "Home Free" program.