When two lives join together hoping to sync harmoniously, periods of disagreement and demands for compromise are inevitable. As a result, even the most successful relationships have hiccups. In the end, though, having a flourishing relationship is more about having the right tools and the willingness to meet in the middle. If even one partner is unable to do that, a relationship is in danger. Know what warning signs to look for in advance and you may be able to take some preventative measures in your own love life.
Jealousy
Relationship jealousy, which Psychology Today's online site describes as "angry agitated worry" about being rejected, serves an important purpose in relationships. If you never felt jealous when you saw an attractive member of the opposite sex flirting with your significant other, you would never feel a need to put effort into your relationship. Jealousy reminds partners that they care deeply for one another. Successful partners inherently trust each other, and find ways to reassure each other when small bouts of jealousy arise. However, if you and your partner don't trust each other, and don't care to reassure each other, your relationship is in danger.
Manipulation
When forming a relationship, it's important to recognize that your significant other comes "as is." Both of you may gradually change over time, but neither of you should expect the other to be inherently different. A manipulative partner may make the other feel insecure and unwanted. He may also ridicule his partner, dictate the way she wears her clothes or criticize the people she hangs out with. He even might resort to threatening self-harm, harm to his partner or harm to her loved ones if she doesn't comply with his demands, according to Health Services at Columbia University. In the end, he may even use physical force to get his way. Manipulation is abusive and painful, and it often leads to the demise of relationships.
Fighting or Apathy
Your relationship may be in danger if you or your partner have noticed that yelling or physical violence are prevalent during arguments, according to Hall Health Primary Care Center at the University of Washington. On the other hand, neglecting to argue about problems may indicate relationship issues, since that very likely means that one or both partners is stewing in silence or "turning off" the part of you that you invested in the relationship.
Inequality
Relationships are composed of give-and-take from both partners. If you or your partner controls more resources--money, car or home--than the other, you may eventually find that one partner wields more authority over the relationship, whether he's aware of it or not. Just as relationships should be about give-and-take, they also should benefit both partners. If one partner feels as though she's getting the short end of the stick, the relationship may be in danger.
References
- Hall Health Primary Care Center, University of Washington: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
- Psychology Today; Anxiety Files: Jealousy is a Killer: How to Break Free from Your Jealous Feelings
- Health Services at Columbia: Unhealthy Relationships
- Charles Schwab--Ask Carrie: Couples and Money
- Ask Men: Breakup Warning Signs
Member Comments
BtBGlobal March 20
Very imformative article on abusive controlling men. My realtionhip expereince was just like that. I was not allowed to do alot of things that he demanded. He was strict in every way towards me and my child. I left dear brutus, because he was a danger to me and my child. Very unhealthy person.