When Is it Time for Assisted Living?

An AARP survey found 70 percent of adult children have not talked to their elders about aging. It is best for a family to have a series of short discussions rather than having that "big" talk that can get overwhelming and emotional. Gradually introduce the topic as you help your senior around the house and point out the changes that you feel are affecting the senior's life for the negative. It may take months for the senior to come around to your point of view, so be patient and never rush anyone into such a serious decision.
Ask the senior what things about her home are most important to her. For example, she may like going outside the back door into her yard for the views, but she may not like the swimming pool there. You then may consider these likes and dislikes when searching for an assisted living facility. Sometimes the little things get lost in the need to get bigger things done.
Opening the discussion of what to do in the final stages of life is very difficult, and many people would rather avoid it altogether. There is no one right way to do it. However, starting early and asking the elder how they want things to work out is a good starting point. If you see signs of depression, weight loss, poor personal hygiene, mobility changes or memory loss, it may be time to discuss a change from independent living.
Sometimes the time to discuss a change in lifestyle comes about suddenly, as the result of a hospitalization, serious illness or a broken hip, but more often it comes about gradually. Begin by expressing concerns about what you see changing, rely on your physician to distinguish between physical problems, depression and normal changes due to aging. Even though it might be uncomfortable, you can assume the elder has an opinion to express. Seek that opinion earlier rather than later, so when the time comes, you will be prepared to include all the important points that might make the transition easier.