Passive-aggressive personality disorder, or PAPD, is a pattern of behavior as contradictory as its name. A person with this disorder may first appear to be compliant with a request or desire of another, but he actually acts out non-compliance in a negative, quietly resistant way. You may work to convince him to attend a couple's counseling session and he finally gives in--only to arrive 40 minutes late, smiling and full of excuses. He has used nonverbal behavior to express his aggressive feelings of resentment/anger at being asked to go to a meeting he did not want to attend.
Avoids Responsibility
A person with PAPD intentionally avoids responsibility, in social and work settings. Rather than refusing you verbally--"no, I don't want to do that"--she wants to avoid looking selfish or incompetent and may agree to take on a task enthusiastically, but will somehow sabotage the duty and make excuses as to why she couldn't finish the task. Though this behavior is intentional, it is not always conscious, as she has used this habitual tactic most of her life.
Forgetfulness
According to Mayo Clinic psychiatrist Dr. Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, passive-aggressive behavior is "expressing your negative feelings in an indirect way, instead of openly addressing them." Hall-Flavin attributes "memory lapses" as aggressive expressions in PAPD. Surely if you "forgot," you will not be held accountable for dropping the ball and little will be expected of you in the future.
Inflexibility
The Langone Medical Center at New York University, New York, cites the PAPD personality as persistently "rigid and inflexible." People with this disorder typically respond poorly to any type of change, so much so that it begins to affect their daily functioning as well as the lives of the people they live and work with. This may be recognized as manipulation to others when it is observed over and over again and relationships begin to suffer. When confronted with the lack of flexibility, the PAPD person will go to great lengths and use many excuses to avoid confrontation and accountability.
Procrastination
Procrastination is another form of passive aggression. If duties are put off for long enough, there won't be time to complete them and, again, the responsibility will be deflected off the PAPD individual and onto a "time crunch."
Blaming Others
The Associates in Counseling and Child Guidance group point out that the PAPD individual "cannot seem to accept responsibility or blame for problems resulting from their poor performance and tend to project this blame on others." Lack of maturity is perhaps most visible in this sign of the disorder. The fault must lie with the other person, as they are making unreasonable demands on the PAPD person, the forever victim.
Sulking and Pouting
When confronted with a shortcoming or given suggestions on how to be more productive, the PAPD person will sulk and pout. It is easier for them, and in their mind, more efficient, if they silently punish and ignore you for pointing out a flaw in them. This quiet sulking is masking a seething anger and/or resentment towards you for pointing out a truth they refuse to accept. They tend to be easily offended and chronically impatient and critical. Living with a person who exhibits PAPD is often frustrating and lonely.
Member Comments