About Toddler Behavior

There is no sound that grates on a parent's ears more than the whining of a child. Almost every child goes through a whining phase, and some children seem to only communicate by whining. Unfortunately, many parents give in to a child's whining just to make the whining stop--but this only teaches the child that whining is effective. As annoying as whining is, giving your child what he wants when he whines only guarantees more and more whining. You can stop the whining--and the sooner, the better.

One of the best ways to stop whining, especially when a child sounds like a broken record, is simply by whining back. This will immediately stop most children because they are so surprised to hear a parent whining. Your child may even laugh, which will change her mood and distract her from whatever was causing her whining. Make your whining as exaggerated and ridiculous sounding as possible. Often, children do not realize how whining sounds or how difficult it is to understand.

Another method is to refuse to acknowledge or answer anything said in a whine. Look your child in the eye, and calmly but clearly state, "I cannot understand what you are saying when you whine. I'll listen when you can speak normally." When the whining is ignored, most children will change approaches. This is especially helpful if you have two children who are whining and arguing with each other and asking for your intervention. Explain that you cannot understand either of them so you cannot get involved. You'll be amazed at how quickly the whining will stop so they can get your attention.

The most important thing is to be consistent. Don't give in to whining and your child will quickly learn that it won't work. Even if it rattles your nerves and makes you want to do anything to make it stop, don't let the whining win. If your child whines for something, always say no until the whining stops--even if you would normally respond with a "Yes." The key is to make the whining unsuccessful. Children are smart and once the tool is ineffective, they will stop using it.