Your children may be your pride and joy, but certain behaviors that they exhibit can cause you extreme stress. While no child behaves perfectly 100 percent of the time, the National Institutes of Health warns that children who display a pattern of hostile and aggressive behavior lasting longer than six months may suffer from a behavioral disorder. If you have reason to suspect that your child falls into this category, seeking psychological help for her now can prevent additional behavioral problems in the future.
Whining
According to the Better Kid Care program at Pennsylvania State University, children often begin whining between the ages of 2 and 4 years old. At this age, your child is trying out new tones of voice to determine which tones you are most likely to respond to. Parents often respond immediately to whining due to its annoyance factor. Unfortunately, this teaches the child that whining is effective, and he continues the negative behavior. If you struggle with a whiny child, explain to your child that you will not respond to whining and offer him positive reinforcement for communicating his needs in a normal tone of voice.
Fighting With Siblings
At some point or another, even the best-behaved children will have disagreements with their siblings. When those disagreements escalate into shouting matches, however, parents often jump in to settle the problem. The Virginia Cooperative Extension notes that settling an argument between siblings is sometimes unwise. While a parent should prepare to step in when a fight becomes physical, stopping an argument between siblings denies children the ability to work out their own problems among themselves--an ability that will come in handy in the future. If ignoring the argument isn't possible, giving the children time apart and mediating while they discuss the issue at hand will help them learn to communicate their frustrations more effectively.
Defiance
Defiant behavior varies depending on the age of the child. While a young child may throw a tantrum in protest, a teenager may shout or sulk and refuse to follow instructions. To avert defiant behavior, Southern Illinois University recommends that parents make their expectations clear to their children in all circumstances. If your child knows ahead of time what you expect of her, she is more likely to follow through without complaint. Modifying your own behavior can also change the way your child reacts to anger. If she sees that you remain calm regardless of what she does, she won't use defiance to elicit a reaction from you. If discipline is necessary, demonstrate consistence by always following through. A child that knows she faces discipline each time she exhibits defiance is less likely to try your patience.
