Toilet training can be a frustrating experience for the parent and the child. There is no magical age that signifies your child is ready to be potty trained and there is no guarantee that once your child begins potty training she will continue the journey without any accidents. Do not feel overwhelmed though--with a little patience and a lot of perseverance your child will soon be out of diapers, wearing big-kid underwear and using the toilet like a pro.
Your Child Refuses to Use the Toilet
After years of changing diapers, parents are often ready to toilet train their child before the child is ready for training. Your child is ready for training when she can easily pull her pants up and down, has the ability to follow simple instructions and most importantly shows an interest in wanting to use the toilet and wear big-kid underwear. When your child is ready to begin toilet training, take her shopping and allow her to pick out the potty seat. Having a choice in the selection will make her more comfortable with the process. If your child shows no desire to use the toilet, make a game out of it. Put some blue food coloring in the water and tell her it will change colors when she urinates. If she still refuses to use the toilet, take a break for a few weeks and try again later. If, after the break, she still is not ready, you may be trying to toilet train too soon. Remember it's not a race, your child will use the toilet when she is ready.
Your Child is Scared of the Toilet
Allow your child time to adjust to the potty seat. Repeatedly, show him how it works. Let him sit on it fully clothed and get comfortable with the idea. If he is still scared, let him decorate it with stickers and ribbons. Do not force your child to use the toilet. Instead try to figure out what is causing his fear of the toilet. Some children are afraid they will fall in while others think they might be flushed away. Sit down and rationally discuss these fears with your child.
Your Child Will Not Have a Bowel Movement on the Toilet
Learning to poop on the potty is a normal step in the potty training process. Some children are afraid to have a bowel movement on the potty when they are constipated. They associate the pain of constipation with the toilet and refuse to go. Others are afraid they will get in trouble for making a mess. Rewarding your child with praise and small gifts when she does have a bowel movement on the potty will reinforce the positive behavior.
Your Child Was Toilet Trained But is Now Having Issues
Children who are fully potty trained often start having accidents when they experience a major life change such as the birth of a sibling, divorce in the family or moving to a new home. Do not scold or make your child feel bad about having an accident; instead remind him that it is okay to have an accident and encourage him regularly to go to the bathroom. You may also consider creating a star chart and allowing him to place a star by the date when he successfully uses the potty. Remaining attentive and responsive also will help keep your child from regressing again.
