Children often can become frustrated or upset when faced with a problem. Giving your child the skills to effectively solve problems is a lesson that will help her as she grows into an adult. Outline the problem-solving steps for your child and use exercises to practice the skills with her. Eventually, she'll learn to use the tools on her own to make the best choices.
Define
Defining the problem will help your child identify what's upsetting him and why, notes Scholastic.com. Too often children focus on the effect--a friend has taken a toy or someone is making him sad. By teaching him to define the problem, he learns to think objectively about the cause and what it means, such as the friend just wants a turn or hasn't learned to share. Teaching your child to identify the problem, makes it possible for him to find a solution.
Brainstorm
Once he has defined the problem, it's time to brainstorm possible solutions. A brainstorming chart can be a helpful for your child to visualize the different solutions and their possible outcomes. BehaviorAdvisor.com recommends having your child come up with a variety of solutions and how they might work. For instance, a friend stealing a toy could be given another toy for distraction, your child could share or your child could choose to play with something else.
Choose and Try
Once she has come up with a satisfactory number of solutions, encourage your child to choose the solution she feels is the most effective. You may find that she chooses the solution that is the most beneficial to her wants, which is normal. Then, have her put the solution into action.
Evaluate
Spend some time talking to your child about her solution and why she received the reaction she did. Through this process, your child learns to independently evaluate her decisions as to whether they were the right ones, says the ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. If the solution didn't work, it's time to pull out the brainstorming chart once again to try a new solution. The problem-solving process can be repeated as many times as necessary to find a satisfactory and effective solution.
