In a healthy relationship, the partners have respect, trust and consideration for one another, according to the Nemours Foundation. But some relationships lack that mutuality, and one partner may become increasingly manipulative, controlling and intimidating. The behavior may even escalate to physical abuse. Someone who is being abused may feel partially responsible for her partner's actions, but an abuser's choices are his alone.
Relationship abuse occurs when a person exhibits a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors in order to control a former or current romantic partner, according to the Sexual Violence Advisory Board at Stanford University. Abuse may be physical, but it may also be emotional, financial, psychological or a combination of any.
Statistics
Of the nearly 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members between 1998 and 2002, nearly half were against spouses, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. Women were the primary recipients of abuse--84 percent were spouses, and 86 percent were dating partners. Women were also more likely than men to be murdered by their spouses or dating partners. Women accounted for 83 percent of spousal murders.
Warning Signs
While hitting, slapping, punching and grabbing are obviously abuse, some types of abuse aren't as easy to detect. The Nemours Foundations lists some other forms. For example, a partner may try to control significant aspects of the other person's life, such as attire and friends. He may frequently act jealous and angry, ultimately causing his partner to feel unworthy, humiliated and threatened. He may go to great lengths to prevent her from leaving, warning her of self-harm or harm to loved ones.
Effects
An abusive relationship can cause victims to experience emotional trauma including depression, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and panic attacks, according to the American Psychiatric Association. As a result, victims of abuse may have trouble finding or using resources that can aid their ability to deal with the situation in a healthy, assertive way.
Getting Help
If you have been victimized by your partner, many resources--medical, law enforcement, religious and hotline--are ready to help. Many communities have support groups for emotionally and physically abused women. If you decide to leave, devise a plan, if at all possible. If necessary, get in touch with a shelter. Have a bag packed, and keep it in your trunk, along with anything you will need for your children. For more advice, go to "Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness: Safety Plan" in Resources.
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