When you first start dating someone, it can be difficult to tell if he is just cranky, or if you are being abused. Abuse can appear in many different forms, ranging from verbal and physical abuse to emotional and sexual abuse. Combinations of different kinds of abuse are common, though none should be tolerated. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in four adolescents report being abused while dating and nearly 10 percent of teenagers reported being physically abused by a girlfriend or boyfriend in 2007.
Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse is the most common and insidious form because it can be difficult to pin down. Verbal abuse usually is accompanied by emotional abuse when the abuser withholds affection until you act the way he want. Verbal abuse can be ongoing or intermittent, mixed with loving words and apologies. Watch for angry outbursts aimed at you or unreasonable demands to recognize him. While dating, a verbal abuser may humiliate you in public or put you down in front of others. He might make fun of you or tease you relentlessly. Threats of physical violence or abandonment are other common attacks you may experience when being verbally abused on a date, according to the Palo Alto Medical Center.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is most recognizable because your safety is at issue. While you may not be harmed enough to seek medical attention, in the beginning stages of dating there are clues about forthcoming physical violence: for example, when your date grabs you by the arm or squeezes your hand too hard. A person prone to violence may just hit inanimate objects at first, perhaps scaring you into submission. Expect the violence to escalate: Cut off the relationship early.
Sexual Abuse
Another term for sexual abuse when dating is called date rape. If you are forced to have sex against your will, you are being sexually abused. Sexual abuse may include being forced to perform sexual acts on your date. Coercion, using veiled threats, may be more subtle but is nonetheless intimidating and abusive.
Financial Abuse
According to the Northwest Territories Health and Social Services department, financial abuse occurs when the person you are dating cuts off your resources and requires you to be dependent on him for all your needs. A financial abuser may steal your credit and debit cards, force you to give him access to your personal identification numbers and financial passwords or make you pay his bills. Financial abusers may be effective cons that will manipulate you to gain access to your money and exploit your kindness or vulnerability.
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