Recognizing the signs of abuse may not be as clear as you would like to believe. Abusive relationships seldom begin with physical violence, and therefore the abuse may have been escalating for some time before you actually recognize it. Abusers tend to start by exerting nonviolent control over the mental, physical, sexual and social aspects of their partners' lives.
Economic Abuse
Preventing someone from maintaining financial stability and independence is one way an abuser can control a partner. HelpGuide.org contributors Melinda Smith and Dr. Jeanne Segal, a psychologist, call economic abuse a "subtle form of emotional abuse." They say this means of control includes anything that restricts access to financial resources, such as bank accounts, funds for household necessities or work outside the home. By denying her access to money or controlling how much she can have, an emotionally abusive spouse restricts his partner's autonomy and freedom to leave.
Isolation
Isolating someone from family and friends ensures that the abuser has sole power over the victim. By preventing her from having contact with any outside influence, he can dictate her living situation. The mental control can have devastating effects. Psychologist, Joseph M Carver says that in order for a victim to survive in her abuser's world, she starts to accept his reasoning and viewpoint. She begins to change her behavior to comply with the expectations of the abuser. Carver maintains that the controlling partner succeeds in manipulating the victim so that she actually becomes resentful toward family and friends who are able to perceive the domination and attempt to help.
Intimidation
Intimidating someone with threats, gestures or looks permits an abuser to maintain control over his victim. Threatening her with the presence of weapons or potential physical harm forces the victim to live in fear of her abuser and prevents her from taking any action to leave. Carver says that the terror the abuser instills in his victim forces her to believe there's no escape. Psychologist Ana Nogales agrees; she says that an abuser often justifies the intimidation.
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