Sensational news or portrayals in the media can lead viewers to think domestic abuse is defined only by physical violence and bodily harm. Both men and women, however, can also be victims of emotional abuse in their relationships, and the effects are just as harmful. The signs of emotional abuse may be subtle at first, but watch for any pattern of behavior that gives one partner extreme power over the other.
Controlling Behavior
A loving and healthy relationship is a partnership of equals. If your partner wants complete control over your life and tells you what to do, where to go, and who you can be social with, these are all warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. Abusive partners are extremely possessive and will try to distance you from your family and friends.
Controlling behaviors can manifest physically, verbally and even technologically. The Tech Abuse in Teen Relationships Study found that "one in three teens who have been in a relationship (30 percent) say they've been text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner finding out where they are, what they're doing or who they're with." These extreme types of harassing and controlling behaviors are a type of emotional abuse.
Belittling You
The right romantic partner for you is someone who is supportive and understanding and who likes you for who you are. A partner who belittles you and tries to damage your self-esteem is emotionally abusive. The U.S. Department of Justice warns that "constant criticism, diminishing one's abilities and name-calling" are all signs of abuse. An abuser may also ruin your self-esteem through manipulation of you and others, like damaging your reputation at work or causing a rift between you and your children.
How You Feel
It can be difficult to evaluate your partner objectively, especially if you've been together a long time. The Decatur (Illinois) Police Department recommends asking yourself questions about how you feel in the relationship. Are you constantly in fear of disappointing or angering your partner? Do you feel that you deserve all the criticism and belittling you receive? Do you feel helpless and even question your own sanity? These are all warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship.
Threats
Threats to withhold affection, to have an affair, to tell lies about you to leave you are just as abusive as physical threats. This type of emotional abuse will have an adverse affect on your mental state and your overall health. The National Women's Health Information Center also warns that these controlling, demeaning and manipulative behaviors can lead to physical abuse.
Call 911 if you or someone you know is in immediate danger. For help with emotional abuse issues, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline at 1-866-331-9474.
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