Alcoholism and Families

Alcoholism is a family disease. When there is an alcoholic in a family, no one escapes unscathed. Rather than focusing on their own interests, relationships and lives, family members react to the alcoholic in certain ways. Some become enablers. Others become martyrs or rescuers. They all suffer from co-dependence. Sons and daughters of alcoholics are also at higher risk of alcoholism. Genetic predisposition, however, is not destiny, and much can be done to avoid the development of drug or alcohol problems.

If you have an alcoholic parent, you are about four times more likely than the general population to develop alcoholism. You also have a higher risk for many other behavioral and emotional problems. But many factors influence your risk of becoming an alcoholic. In fact, more than 50 percent of all children of alcoholics do not develop the disease. Certain factors--such as two alcoholic parents, an alcoholic parent with other psychological problems, and a home torn by conflicts and violence--put you at the highest risk. But even these liabilities can be effectively addressed if you don't start drinking early in life, drink moderately as an adult, and talk to a health care professional.

About one in every four families has problems with alcohol. Underage drinking is another very prevalent issue--an estimated 10.8 million kids drink before they reach 21. Binge drinking is also common on college campuses. Problems with alcohol may range from dependence to severe addiction. How can you tell the difference? Look for physiological problems, such as hand tremors or blackouts (periods of time in which an alcoholic can't remember what happened); psychological problems, such as an obsessive desire to drink no matter what the consequences (such as job loss, legal problems, and divorce); and behaviors that cause problems with family, friends, and at work.

Prenatal effects can be devastating and lifelong. Fetal alcohol syndrome causes physical, mental, neurological and behavioral deficits. Children of alcoholics often live with pervasive tension and stress, they have trouble in school, low self-esteem, higher levels of anxiety and depressio, and more problems coping with everyday life. They also also suffer from feelings of guilt, lack of trust in other people, problems with intimacy, and feelings of helplessness.

Spouses of alcoholics are affected in other ways. They may have feelings of hatred, self-pity, and resentment. They may also avoid friends and other relatives, be short-tempered from trying to play the role of both parents, make excuses for the alcoholic, and be inconsistent demanding, and neglectful. Financial difficulties add to stress, and can help bring about mental and physical exhaustion.


Part of the disease of alcoholism is denial--the alcoholic strongly defends his or her drinking against all rational evidence that it is at the root of many problems. The disease will continue to progress in the alcoholic until she is ready to reach out and get help to stop drinking. Sometimes interventions arranged by trained substance abuse counselors can speed up the process. But families don't have to wait until the alcoholic stops drinking. They can begin to recover whether the alcoholic continues to drink or not.

Healing starts when you pick up the phone and call Al-Anon, the primary organization for those affected by some else's drinking. Al-Anon has free groups for families and teens throughout the U.S. and around the world. The organization helps families by teaching them how to accept the alcoholic in their lives, to let go of their problems, and heal the emotional damage. Alcoholics Anonymous can also serve as a resource. Both organizations can usually be found in phone directories or online: