Victims of spousal abuse live in a constant state of fear and humiliation, yet may feel powerless to leave. Abusers may be adept at making their victims feel unworthy of a better life or may guilt victims into remaining in the relationship. Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse and violence can help you or a loved one escape from an abuser.
Identification
Spousal, or domestic, abuse occurs when a husband or wife tries to control and dominate the other person, according to HelpGuide.org. When spousal abuse is coupled with violence, it is referred to as domestic violence. Spousal abuse affects both men and women. Abuse happens at all income levels and affects couples of all ages, sexual orientations and ethnic backgrounds.
Signs of Spousal Abuse
The Mayo Clinic reports that abuse may start subtly and worsen over time. If you are in an abuse relationship, your spouse may constantly criticize or belittle you. She may humiliate you in front of friends or family members. Abusers may be jealous and controlling and may try to prevent you from spending time with friends or family members. If spousal abuse progresses to domestic violence, your spouse may kick, hit, punch, slap or find other ways to harm you. No matter what type of abuse you endure, your spouse may try to make you feel that her treatment of you is your fault in some way.
Abuse Cycle
Spousal abuse usually follows a common pattern, according to HelpGuide.org. During the first phase, your spouse attempts to control you with criticism or violence. After the outburst, your spouse may feel guilty and may try to resume a normal relationship with you. Before long, your spouse may be thinking about abusing you again and may create a scenario that involves blaming you for some problem, real or imagined. When the abuser feels he is justified in punishing you, the abuse will begin again.
Safety Plan
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence suggests creating a safety plan if you are in a relationship with an abuser. The Coalition recommends finding a safe room with an exit in your home, keeping a list of safe people to contact if you need to escape, memorizing important numbers and establishing a code word so that friends or family workers will know to call for help.
Warning
Pregnancy can trigger domestic abuse and violence or worsen it. Children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to be abused, have behavioral problems and become abusers as adults, according to the Mayo Clinic. Seeking help while you are pregnant can help break the cycle and ensure that your children do not suffer from the effects of domestic abuse and violence.
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