Effective communication is a hallmark of strong, stable families, while poor communication often plagues families having difficulties, according to Virginia Tech. Understanding the types of communication, the features of good communication and the positive benefits of family communication may help strengthen your family bond and ensure positive, healthy relationships among family members.
Types of Clear Communication
Virginia Tech explains the two types of clear communication as clear direct and clear indirect communication. Clear direct communication, the healthiest form of family communication, occurs when you express a message plainly and express the message to the correct family member. For example, a mother upset about her daughter's dropping grades would approach the daughter and express her concern, stating, "I am concerned that your grades are falling."
Clear indirect communication refers to a message stated plainly but without clear communication regarding whom the message refers to. For example, the mother would say, "It's upsetting when people let their grades slide." Though the mother conveys that she is upset about dropping grades, she does not indicate that her message refers directly to the daughter.
Types of Masked Communication
Virginia Tech describes the two types of masked communication as masked direct and masked indirect communication. Masked direct communication refers to an unclear message communicated to the proper family member. For example, a mother upset with a daughter's dropping grades may state an unclear message, saying to the daughter, "Some people just don't take pride in their academics."
Masked indirect communication, the unhealthiest type of family communication, refers to an unclear message stated without clear communication regarding whom the message refers to. With this type of communication the mother may state, "Kids in school don't take their work seriously enough."
Features of Good Communication
According to the Missouri Department of Social Services' Child Welfare Manual, good communication consists of listening, rephrasing, probing and positive speaking. Listening shows others that you care and that you are concerned with the message being conveyed. You show that you are listening by maintaining eye contact and providing verbal feedback, such as "I see."
Rephrasing builds understanding, reduces confusion and validates concerns. To rephrase a message, you must listen closely to the message, restate the message without adding information and check with the speaker to ensure correct understanding.
Probing refers to questions or statements that encourage further thought on the part of the speaker. Probing requires identification of aspects of the message that need further thought, constructing an open-ended question or statement and reflecting on feelings.
Positive speaking requires you to focus on positive things, be specific, be willing to share personal information relating to the topic and balance honesty and kindness. This feature gives you the chance to express yourself, helps family members build positive self-images, builds trust and encourages cooperation.
Benefits
Communication helps develop good relationships and allows feelings of understanding, which reduce anger and stress. Additionally, according to the University of Delaware, good family communication helps resolve conflicts within the family. Good communication helps families stay strong by recognizing the need for compromise and having the ability to communicate such compromise.
Additionally, Family Guide points out that maintaining good communication with your child from the time he is young, makes it easier for him to discuss his problems with you later in life. That communication reduces the likelihood that he will experiment with drugs and alcohol or develop a mental health problem.
Ways to Improve Family Communication
You can improve family communication by being available, empathetic, a good listener and a good role model, according to Healthy Children. In order to increase availability, set aside a few minutes every day for family members to connect and discuss their days and anything bothering them.
Being empathetic means listening to the feelings of family members and expressing your understanding. Do not minimize the feelings of others and provide positive feedback through comforting gestures or approving facial expressions.
Listening helps your child feel loved. At times family members may require further prompting to express themselves and you may need to rephrase feelings or statements to ensure proper understanding. You do not have to agree with the feelings or statements expressed, but you should listen respectfully.
A good role model acts in the manner she wishes others to act. When you express yourself, make sure your words match your expressions or gestures and keep a calm tone of voice. Also, help other family members express feelings by expressing your own feelings.
