Grief counseling is a process which provides guidance and support for coping while grieving the loss of a loved one. Counseling begins by assuring that your needs are being met. It ends with identifying your own unique way of grieving. Counseling provides time to experience grief-related feelings which are sometimes confusing. It also involves recognizing complications which may interfere with normal grieving. The long-term goal of grief counseling is to assist you in adapting to loss.
Identify Immediate Needs
Identifying your immediate needs is the first step in grief counseling. Grief is overwhelming and you may need assistance getting some practical daily living tasks completed. Paying bills, shopping and getting needed medical care are priorities. You and your counselor will first make a plan to assure that these needs are met. This may require you to ask for assistance from family and friends.
Express Feelings
The next step is to express your initial emotional reactions. The feeling of sadness can be so powerful that it becomes difficult to share it with family and friends. It is also common to experience emotions such as anger, fear and doubt. These emotions are often confusing while they're happening. Grief counseling provides an opportunity to express the intensity of your sadness and an opportunity to understand the meaning behind other emotions which arise.
Provide Time to Grieve and Adjust
Counseling provides time for you to deal with the pain and adjust to living without your loved one. It provides a time to focus on the emotions and thoughts which are natural in the grief process. The process helps you readjust to life by reflecting on these emotions and thoughts. The goal of providing this time to grieve is to find ways to reinvest in life.
Identify Complications to Grief
Identifying complications which may interfere with the grief process is an important part of grief counseling. Complications arise when, for example, there is difficulty accepting the reality of the loss, when serious medical or mental health problems pre-exist the loss, or when family and friends offer little support. Depending on the emotional impact, complications may require more time in counseling or the inclusion of other resources such as a social worker, medications, support groups or short-term hospitalization.
Recognize Individual Differences
Recognizing that we all grieve differently is important in grief counseling. There is no formula or standard to follow. For example, grief counseling does not recommend that you sell or give away your loved one's possessions. You may need to do this at some point, but others may not. Instead of telling you what to do, counseling focuses on helping you identify your unique way of grieving and supports you in these efforts.
References
- "Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy"; J. William Worden; 2009
- "Counseling Strategies for Loss and Grief"; Karen M. Humphrey; 2009
