Being able to communicate effectively can enhance your life on both the personal and professional levels. Without effective communication skills, you limit your ability to make yourself understood to others and you may risk misunderstanding what others are saying. However, you may not realize that effective communication involves more than just what is being verbally expressed.
Listening Skills
Learning to listen is a skill that cannot be overemphasized. According to Peter Trower, Bridget Bryant, and Michael Argyle in their book "Social skills and mental health," listening skills involve verbal reflections and attention feedback. In verbal reflections, you indicate verbally that you have understood what the other person is saying. Attention feedback involves using physical cues to show that you are paying attention. Verbal reflections use empathic statements and gestures to reflect back to the other person what they have just said. Saying things such as "If I get what you are saying correctly, what you mean is..." Using attention feedback cues such as leaning toward the person and making eye contact show that you are involved and interested in the conversation.
Assertiveness
According to the Mayo Clinic, assertiveness is a fundamental communication skill that can help to control anger and stress and help you to express yourself more effectively. Being assertive does not mean forcing your will on someone else or getting him to submit to you; it relies on mutual respect and the belief that you have a right to express your needs, feelings and desires. Being direct and respectful without being aggressive is key to assertiveness. Try to use "I" statements, which help you to sound direct without being accusatory. Learning to say "no" is another important component of assertiveness. Don't beat around the bush; it may be difficult at first, but learn to say no in a polite yet firm manner.
Body Language
Being aware of your body language can help you to be a better listener and speaker. According to Geoff Ribbens and Richard Thompson in their book, "Understanding Body Language," posture, eye contact, facial expression and eye movements are all involved in body language. Chances are that you already know how frustrating it is if you've ever been involved in a conversation with someone who keeps looking around the room. You feel that what you are saying is uninteresting to the other person and as though she has somewhere else she'd rather be. Making eye contact, smiling at appropriate moments, keeping your gaze steady without staring and leaning slightly toward the other person are all ways you can use body language to become a more effective communicator.
References
- "Social skills and mental health"; Peter Trower, Bridget Bryant and Michael Argyle; 1978
- Mayo Clinic: Being assertive
- "Understanding Body Language"; Geoff Ribbens and Richard Thompson; 2001
Member Comments