Being in an abusive relationship can happen to anyone at any time. The very first step that needs to be taken in an abusive relationship should be to notice and know the warning signs and symptoms of abuse. According to the website the Help Guide, this is the very first step to ending an abusive situation and getting help. Once signs are recognized, it is possible to find help and healing.
What is Relationship Abuse?
The Sexual Assault and Relationship Abuse Prevent and Support program at Stanford University website defines relationship abuse as a "pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner." This means that any behavior, whether physical, mental, emotional or psychological, can be abusive behavior.
Types of Abuse
There are many types of abuse that can occur with domestic violence. Any abuse, however, is used to gain control over you, no matter what the abuser says is his reason. Physical abuse takes the form of physical force against another person to cause harm. Emotional abuse digs at your feelings, your sense of self-worth and your independence. This can take the form of bullying or insulting you, withholding money or berating you. Sexual abuse is another form of abuse that is often overlooked in committed relationships. Any sexual advance that is unwanted is a form of sexual abuse.
Signs and Symptoms
The most obvious sign of an abusive relationship is when you begin to fear your partner. Fear has no place in a healthy relationship. If you feel that you can't do anything right, that you have to walk on eggshells, wonder if you are crazy, feel you might deserve pain or feel numb, you may want to talk to a trusted friend, family member or support service. Other signs of abuse include your partner belittling you, criticizing you, blaming you for his own behavior or ignoring you. He could also act unpredictably and threaten to hurt or kill you. He may force you to have sex or say that he will commit suicide if you leave him. An abusive partner may act jealous and possessive and constantly ask questions about where you are going, where you have been or will limit your access to a phone or financial resources. If your husband is acting in these ways, it may be time to leave him.
Developing a Personal Safety Plan
If you develop a personal safety plan while you are still in your abusive relationship, you may be able to reduce harm that comes to you. According to the Center for Abusive Relationship Awareness, a personal safety plan is a step in the right direction in getting out of an abusive relationship. You may have a safety plan for while you are still in the relationship, if you plan to leave, if you are at work or you can make a plan for when an attack happens. A personal plan will cover all the bases of your situation, such as where you will go when you leave, who you will contact, a reminder to change the locks of your house, finding the local domestic violence shelter's phone number and even plans for the future. If you plan to leave an abusive situation, consider making a plan for yourself so that your escape is as easy and safe as possible.
Planning Your Escape
According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) website, begin your planned escape by making records of any and all abuses with a journal, photos, police reports and emergency room documentations. Also, local domestic violence shelters exist for helping people, particularly women, safely leave an abusive relationship. These shelters can give you information about laws and your rights while also providing a safe place for your escape. The NDVH website also suggests that you talk with your children and provide a safe place for them, such as a friend's house, while you make your getaway. You can also contact a close and trusted friend or family member to give you support and to help you find your way out of your situation.
Member Comments