3 Parenting Tips For Raising A Champion

In my book "How Tiger Does It", which explores the peak performance attributes of Tiger Woods and how to apply them to your own goals, I devote a chapter to the concept of parenting and explore the fascinating and unusual example of Tiger Woods's upbringing with the yin/yang, East/West influence from his respective parents, Earl (of mainly African-American heritage and raised in Kansas) and Tida (born and raised in Thailand). The Earl-Tiger dynamic and his child prodigy golf experience has been well chronicled. Often however, the sound-bites pulled from the story predominate over what I feel are the most important and instructive lessons that one can learn from Tiger's upbringing.

Yes, Earl used to make noise during Tiger's swing, and used to deliberately cheat during their one-on-one battles--all in the name of rattling him and forcing him to develop focus and competitive toughness. Yes, Tida used to crack the whip and not let him play golf until his room was clean and homework was done. These examples are intriguing, but they are superficial elements of his story and his development as the world's greatest athlete. Avoid the prevailing cultural dynamics of over pressurized competitive experiences for youth, which commonly leads to alienation and rebellion in later years.

1. Nurture your child's pure motivation and natural potential. Resist the temptation to project your dreams or society's regimented expectations upon your child--including the popular idea that achievement in formal education or sport is the end-all route to success and happiness. Instead, encourage and facilitate your child's pursuit of her own dreams, with the ultimate goal being to raise a happy and well-adjusted kid. Emphasize fun, appreciation of the process and the development of honorable character above competitive results.

2. Be a good caddy. You must not take shots for your child (I think you know what I'm talking about, helicopter parents), but you can help them navigate the course of their choice and encourage them along the way. Pay close attention to signals from your child about what's fun and what's not, and how much is enough. This will prevent burnout and rebellion when they grow older and gain more freedom. Be sure that you exhibit high energy and motivation levels towards your caddy role and devote sufficient time and interest to the job. By doing so, you will model to your children that family is more important than anything.

3. Place high expectations on your child. No, not to produce results, but to give an honest, sportsmanlike and maximum effort in competition. By emphasizing these high ideals, you will help your child overcome the perils of superficial motivation and attachment of self-esteem to results. Instead, they will develop the physical, mental and emotional resilience to become tough competitors. Show them a world with strict boundaries for behavior, structure, prioritization and general lifestyle balance, so that they have an open road to pursue their competitive potential. Do everything you can to support them in their own journey, but make it clear that they will have to make their own way, regardless of how much wealth, power and influence you have.