Cheating is an unfortunate reality in many relationships. People engage in love affairs in varying degree and for a multitude of reasons. Infidelity is a devastating experience and can destroy relationships and families. While there's no conclusive list of the motivations people have for indiscretions, there are plenty of apparent reasons.
Dissatisfaction
Failing to find satisfaction or happiness in the relationship is usually the core reason for divorces and breakups, but the cheater may want to simply avoid the problems and seek another means of comfort rather than confront the discourse.
ThirdAge.com conducted an interview with psychologist and infidelity expert, Shirley Glass, concerning the reasons for love affairs. She says that one of the overwhelming reasons people engage in affairs is to escape. It's especially common for couples who are raising children to look for comfort outside of the relationship.
Glass asserts, "Marital research consistently reports that one of the most difficult times in a marriage, with the lowest satisfaction, is during the stage where you're raising teen-aged children. You see your kids going out on dates and growing away, and it brings out a lot of longings--nostalgia for when you were younger and somebody was courting you, the fear of getting older, the thought that you and your partner are going to be alone together again, that these kids are going to go out on their own." Without joy in a relationship, unhappy partners pursue alternatives that fulfill them.
Deprivation
Entering into an affair can be motivated by the need to fill a void in either the emotional or sexual realms of your relationship. According to Glass's research, a woman is more likely to engage in an affair if she's emotionally unfulfilled. Glass says that women who cheat say that they are unhappy in the marriage. On the other hand, men more often report being "happy" in their marriages, but are more likely to be motivated to seek sexually gratifying relationships with woman who they wouldn't consider marrying. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), infidelity can occur in any relationship---even happy ones.
Sometimes, sexual addiction can be the impulse driving him to participate in numerous extramarital affairs. The AAMFT describes the difference between sex addicts and those who are involved in isolated instances of cheating: "Multiple affairs may indicate an addiction to sex, love or romance. Love and romance addicts are driven by the passion of a new relationship. Sexual addicts are compulsively attracted to the high and the anxiety release of sexual orgasm. But such release comes with a price--feelings of shame and worthlessness. In contrast, philanderers who perceive extramarital sex as an entitlement of gender or status take advantage of opportunities without guilt or withdrawal symptoms."
Boredom
Seeking new adventures and experiences can make you feel young and attractive again, so spouses may attempt to reinvent themselves. Peggy Vaughan, author and internationally recognized expert in the field of infidelity, believes that the media and television sensationalize extramarital affairs, causing society to associate cheating with happiness and youth. Shirley Glass states that risk-taking and thrill-seeking are more characteristic of men.
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