Taking care of your needs is paramount in the process of coping with the loss of your loved one. You're the only one who knows what your emotional needs are, but you're also the only person who can implement the actions you need to take to heal. Dealing with death is an emotionally harrowing experience, but enacting positive methods of coping can be a means for learning more about yourself and moving forward to live in the present.
Promote Health
Depleting your emotional energy can cause physical exhaustion and affect your physical health. The Harvard Mental Health Newsletter states that "pain, especially chronic pain, is an emotional condition as well as a physical sensation. It is a complex experience that affects thought, mood and behavior and can lead to isolation, immobility and drug dependence--depressed patients have three times the average risk of developing chronic pain." Sleeping allows your mind to be at rest, and relaxation aids you in the process of eliminating some of the emotional pain. Abusing alcohol and sleep medications can lead to sleep disturbances and exhaustion. Applying activities or techniques that you consider to be relaxing can help you get the rest you need during the bereavement process.
Practice Sublimation
Sublimation is a term that's used in psychology to describe the use of one of the beneficial defense mechanisms in the displacement theory of Dr. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis. In psychological terms, sublimation means that you're taking out aggression in a constructive manner. Expressing your thoughts in writing a journal, painting, volunteering for a charitable organization, composing songs or music and working out are examples of redirecting your anger and pain into something beneficial for you and for others.
Prioritize Yourself
Your time of bereavement shouldn't be a time for you to fix problems in existing relationships or a time to forge new and emotionally dependent ones. Spend time alone, if that's what you need; take a trip alone, get a massage or makeover, go to the movies by yourself, eat in bed, take a nap, go shopping, go hiking or whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Coping with your needs should be your priority at this time. By taking care of you, right now, you can emotionally prepare to address or mend other issues or relationships at a later time.
Permit Support
Allowing yourself to accept help or support from others may be extremely difficult at first, but by acknowledging that you need emotional or physical assistance during this time, you support your attempt to accept your loss and move in a positive direction. Venting your feelings is a vital part of the grieving process, but sometimes, you may feel uncomfortable with unveiling your emotions to close family and friends. By joining a support group, you can release your feelings of grief to a group of people who are experiencing many of the same emotions that you're encountering. Often, you can find helpful advice from someone whose loss is through a similar circumstance. Talking about your feelings is an essential part of the healing process, so whether you're expressing them to your family and friends or an anonymous group, do whichever is more comfortable for you.
