Seniors in Transition: Losing a Loved One

Seniors need long-term bereavement support
Grieving is a process. When seniors lose a loved one, relationships that have sometimes spanned decades come to an end. So, feelings associated with such a major loss often wax and wane over a long period of time. Here are some tips to support a senior who has experienced the death of a loved one:

Be Observant
Individuals vary in their response to loss and how they express themselves during the grieving period. Supporting a bereaved elder includes being on the lookout for danger signs of extreme behavior that can be harmful. Many people, given time, are able to cope with the loss of a loved one; some cannot and need help to do so. To understand the difference between expected symptoms of grieving and a serious situation that requires additional professional support, here are seven behaviors to watch for. Seek help if the bereaved person:

1. Is frequently anxious
2. Has outbursts of anger
3. Is consistently in denial about her loss over a period of weeks or months
4. Seems easily agitated
5. Expresses suicidal desires or exhibits other signs of depression
6. Increases use of alcohol, drugs or smoking
7. Has a deterioration of health or increased symptoms of illness or infection

Be a Long-term Friend
Any person who has suffered a major loss faces many challenges. Elders are especially affected if they are also experiencing lifestyle changes related to a decline in health status or physical functioning. To help a friend or loved one take things in stride:

1. Remain attentive to behavior, and evaluate signs and symptoms
2. Focus on being a great listener
3. Try to avoid advising; choose to be present instead
4. Call and visit frequently, encourage your friend or loved one to talk about feelings

In general, be generous and offer continued support to bereaved elders. Although elders have lost many friends and family members over their life span, loss of a spouse or good friend can be devastating without strong social support. Your help over the long haul will be appreciated and can provide an elder with needed strength to face the many difficulties of grieving.