Demographics in the U.S. indicate that by 2020, about 60 percent of the population with be in the 65 to 74 age group. Relocated retirees are fueling population increases in states such as Arizona, where more than 80,000 retirees live in just three Sun City retirement communities (U.S. Census Bureau, 2002). Even if a long-distance move is not in your future, seniors often choose to relocate to age-restricted planned communities that are near home.
No matter the distance from home, a relocation disrupts long-standing relationships and almost always requires migrating seniors to make new friends. Finding and making friends are challenges seniors may not have encountered since early adulthood or even childhood. Here are some tips for getting started:
Take a Personal Inventory
Any important endeavor is more successful if you think it through beforehand. Understanding your personal definition of friendship will help you know what kind of person you might seek as a future companion. Consider these questions:
1. What is your definition of friendship?
2. Have your needs for a friend changed? How?
3. Who are your best friends now? Why?
Make New Friends but Keep the Old
When seeking new friends, local social activities and churches can be a good starting place. Age-segregated communities often have special events for welcoming newcomers and are designed to help you get to know other residents. Making new friends gives you opportunities to learn new things and discover new ideas.
Make new friends, but keep the old. Old friends provide you with continued stability during a major life change. They can offer you a way to keep in touch with familiar things and they can provide a safe outlet for discussion about reactions to your new home.
Your Effort Will Pay Off
There is work to do. Before you relocate, take an inventory of what outside services you will need and make arrangements for them. Reducing your task list after moving will help you be relaxed and available for socializing sooner. If you have special hobbies, check ahead to see what groups, clubs and facilities exist in the new neighborhood. Before you relocate, make contact with those you find interesting. You can then anticipate meeting new people right away who share your likes and interests.
You will likely have to make special efforts to maintain longstanding friendships, especially if you have moved to a retirement community where participation in activities is limited to residents. You must make an effort to make new friends. Friendships are voluntary. If it has been a while since you have needed to make a new friend, keep in mind that simply placing yourself in a new community, club, or surrounding is not sufficient. You must actively seek opportunities to explore the thoughts of others to find a good match. Lasting friendships are an important aspect of our lives and are found through discovery and interaction as well as presence.
